.Synchronicity.

October Sky

2009-10-10T10:43:00.002+11:00

Every year I somehow will have a post titled 'October Sky'... I wonder why.... ;) hehe....

I am extremely grateful as I am still alive and able to witness the world in 2009. Over the years, So many things have changed. Friends come and go, friends reunite.. Friends that are still around, share thoughts of the past, present and future.. I am thankful for all of the friends that I've had, have and will have as this world would be different without them (besides family of course).

This year is my big year (or at least in my head its big :p).. I'm celebrating my 26th Birthday on the 26th of October!! 10 years ago, I had a picture of how I was gonna celebrate it. But now, everything is blurry and it's just another 16 days to go... We'll see what happens...

Today is my dear Friend's birthday...and sort of a farewell + birthday celebration thing happening tonite.. You will be missed so dearly... Happy Birthday Ogeto...

Why mothers are ungrateful

2009-04-16T16:24:00.000+10:00

A study has revealed that most mums don't want breakfast in bed on Mother's Day. Tania Cammarano asks why.

You've baked the croissants, juiced the oranges, made the raspberry preserves and set the tray with dainty crockery, silver cutlery and pretty flowers.

You're ready to serve the woman that gave birth to you a sumptuous breakfast made with love and care. But have you ever stopped to think about whether your mum actually wants breakfast in bed?

Apparently, she doesn't. A recent survey out of the US has revealed that almost 70 per cent of all mothers don't want to break the fast in bed on Mother's Day.

They would rather sleep in or have time to themselves.

Selfish aren't they?

I mean there you are, poor put upon adult-child who does pretty much nothing for them all year long, the one time you want to shower them in affection with a great morning feast, they don't want it.

And they don't even tell you they don't want it. They let you find out via a survey of 1,500 American women commissioned by none other than baked goods company Dunkin' Donuts.

Just who do these people think they are?

Mothers, that's who. They cook for you, clean for you, worry about you, pay your bills if you ask them too and make sure you're planning on getting married. And if you're not planning marriage, they make sure you're fully aware that you'll end up old and alone with only cats and tea cosies to keep you warm.

Now don't get me wrong, it's not like I don't like mothers. I have one myself. All my best friends are mothers. The point is, upon reflection, if mothers prefer sleep and rest to a stunning breakfast fit for a queen, there must be something else going on.

If we look at that survey again, we find that 93 per cent of mothers try to do more than one thing at once at meal time, 20 per cent don't have time for any sort of breakfast, let alone one in bed, and 80 per cent said, if they had an extra hour a day, they would feel torn between spending it with their children or relaxing by themselves.

Interestingly, less than 20 per cent said they would spend that time with their beloved partner.

All this leads us to the conclusion that mum would probably love breakfast in bed if she wasn't so busy juggling tasks, feeling guilty about wanting to spend time alone and trying to avoid her other half.

So I guess the best thing we can do for our mums this Mother's Day is commit to helping them more in their day-to-day lives.

We could still bake them a cake or make them breakfast, lunch or brunch or whatever - but let them rest first.

And next Mother's Day, when you present them with a lavish four course breakfast extravaganza at 6am, they will not be so ungrateful.

Source: Taste.com.au

In deeper shit.

2009-03-31T23:44:00.002+11:00

Why am I not surprise!?!
Life is great ain't it??

Due dates.. Oh Due dates....

2009-03-30T23:07:00.002+11:00

Great.... I thought I was on track but apparently I'm not! I was doing so good for the last three weeks with my readings and daily studies, but somehow, this week, I've been slacking a little bit (surprise...surprise...). I decided to do some advance readings for my class tomorrow and realize that my first assignment is due in 6 days! and another one in 9 days!

"Crap!!" I thought to myself. Why? Because I haven't even looked at what those assignments are all about. Smart me! So I went online to check the assessment folder and couldn't find the assignment description anywhere! Must have been some technical difficulty on the teacher's side I hope. Because I could have sworn that I saw it a few weeks ago. But no biggie on that, I'll just email her tomorrow..

This week is going to be hectic for me as I will have class, tomorrow, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday, as oppose to just having 2 days of classes every week, yes that is hectic for me! AND on Thursday, my class will be from 9am-5pm straight, located at Fed Square. Good thing is, I'm going to try to get out off the 2nd half of the class. I have a choice whether to attend or not because these seminars are for my online classes and they have made it not compulsory for students. Tempted to not go? Yes, But for my own bloody good, Yes I will go.

I am hungry and who can study on an empty stomach? hehe... I'm gonna get some Kellogs Rice Bubbles... :)

Beautiful Suprise

2009-03-30T14:08:00.002+11:00

Woke up this morning and I couldnt get this song out of my head. Its is such a beautiful song by such a wonderful person... I ended up playing that song on repeat for an hour.. :)

It's like yesterday
I didn't even know your name
Now today
You're always on my mind
I never could have predicted that I'd feel this way
You are a beautiful surprise
Intoxicated every time I hear your voice
You've got me on a natural high
It's almost like I didn't even have a choice
You are a beautiful surprise

Whatever it is that you came to teach me
I am here to learn it cause
I believe that we are written in the stars
I don't know what the future holds
But I'm living in the moment
And I'm thankful for the man that you are, you are, you are
You are everything I ask for in my prayers
So I know my angels brought you to my life
Your energy is healing to my soul
You are a beautiful surprise
You are an inspiration to my life
You are the reason why I smile
You are a beautiful surprise

-India Arie.

It's just emotions

2009-03-29T01:51:00.003+11:00

10am: Started of the day feeling energetic! Full of wisdom (chewah...)! Happiness and Joy...

6.30pm: Lethargic, lazy, helpless, just didnt feel like doing anything at all! Or see anyone.

I hate when that happens.. Although you know that it is possible to set your mind straight and keep the energy going. But some how, I tend to just succumb to the negative-ness of the moment.

Some people are able to pick up their masks and not suffocate behind it for many hours. I can't even last for 2 seconds. The negativity in me shows the minute someone looks at my sour face. It's like, there's a sign on my neck saying "Don't fuckng talk to me right now!" But somehow, I think I always forget to hang that sign on my neck, or maybe the writing is too small that people might not able to read it. Pfftt... I can't hide my feelings.. It's a bad habit that I have... Succumb to the negativity.

When I was a little girl, when ever I want smething from the toy section, I would never utter a word to my mom or my dad. Instead, I would stare at it and not more from 'that' spot. They would ask me a few times, giving the chance to say "YES!", but I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't open my mouth, blink one eye, smile or frown.. Nothing! Just stood there staring. Mom would just drag me by the hand and I would make myself heavy.. Dragging my whole body.. And sometimes, after that incident, when ever they walk (especially in a mall, window shopping) I would keep a constant distance. Hahaha... When they walk I walk, when they stop, I stop. HAHAHHAHA... what a retard.

These emotions in me are horrible! Thank God I'm not like that anymore! Can you imagine? hmm... ok.. Probably 2%.. hehe..

Useless

2009-03-28T02:00:00.002+11:00

I am useless...
how long has it been since I had the courage to write about something..
I skip the emotions.. Or more like I feel as if I have so much to do and I cant secure them into their right spots..
More like, bad time management... Horrible time management! That's what I have..
I have plans in my head, and they seemed to get into the right places there, but not in reality...
I know this doesnt just happens to me.. A lot of us do experience the same thing..
Some may just walk pass it, some may stop to have a good look at it.. and some just panic and dont know what to do after..
Well... Life is not easy :)

Trippies!

2008-01-30T01:24:00.000+11:00

It's been a while since we had a family vacation.. I'm Goin to CAMBODIA tomorrow!!! YeeeWoooooo

-Synchronicity Out-

Weather report for today in Burwood Melbourne:

2008-01-05T12:36:00.000+11:00

Sat, 5th of Jan 2008:

A house with no air conditioning. No place to run to..
and the weather is like......

Mostly Sunny
Maximum for today is 37 'C
Minimum for today is 19 'C (now that's fine)

BUT! the 'UV index' is reported HIGH for today!

10% chance of Rain but with amount likely to be less than 1mm throughout the day..

The speed of wind was 11km/h at 9am
and predicted to decrease to 1km/h at 3pm....

Relative Humidity?
35% in the morning and 29% in the afternoon...
BullCrap!

So are we going to the beach today????

-Synchronicity Out-

2008: Happy New Year.

2008-01-02T12:05:00.000+11:00

Finally...... 2008 is here.
It's not a big deal, really..
It's actually just numbers.
Numbers getting bigger..

For those who were born in 1983,
this year is the year..
This year is the year we're all going to be,
A quater of a centaury..

So what?
we got to go through it someday right?
I guess...
Now I really need to sort my life out properly...
;P

-Synchronicity Out-

Fix.

2007-12-30T14:11:00.000+11:00

Was just going through some old photos on fotopages, facebook, here, in both our laptops and external HD.
So much happieness, sadness... Made me smile.
Tomorrow is the last day of 2007. How time flies.
People come and go, the ones that stayed brings me joy everyday.

I guess my new year's resolution is to be better than ever. haha...!
I got to Fix me. That's the most important thing.
Pull me back to reality because I think I've drown myself into the ocean of darkness.
Fix me, so that I could make this tiny bubble of mine more hospitable to others.
Fix me, so I can laugh and smile more.
Fix me so I can see you.
Ok, i guess my NYE resolution is to Fix Me.. :p

Today's mami's bday and again I couldn't be with her. :(
Happy Birthday Mami.. I love you so much.
You are my mirror, my guide, my shelter, my elevator,
my friend, my sister, my mother,
you are my everything..

-Synchronicity Out-

Numbers...

2007-12-19T19:33:00.000+11:00

It's that time of the again... Numbers are running, and when i say numbers, think of all the possible numbers that you can think of..

TIme, date, age, weight, money, friends, brain cells and the list goes on.. They are all running.. Where? I have no clue...

Come to think of one, I just turn 24, 2 months ago and my 25th year is coming in a few days time. Why dont we sit and think and go crazy? That sounds like a fun thing to do!

Christmas is just around the corner, and then comes New Years.. I have a feeling that it's going to be a shitty New Years AGAIN! As usual, no one likes to plan because that seems like an alright thing to do, so we leave it till the last minute! I am praying for some luck here..

Well, HAve a Merry Merry Christmas and a Happy Happy New Year everybody!

-Synchronicity Out-

A lovely girl..

2007-09-10T02:15:00.000+10:00

A lovely girl
She walks in with a big smile on her face
Pretty eyes, pretty lips, pretty skin, pretty everything
She could almost be perfect
She speaks with full of confidence
A convivial vibe paired with affable gestures
She holds herself robustly well
A lovely girl she is…

Walking pass the door
She turns and she smiles
Her eyes sparkle full of life;
Men lusted for her, Women envied her
A lovely girl she is...

Stepping inside her house of refuge
She closes the door behind her
Nobody knew
She cried and she cried, and she still cried
Nobody knew
A box full of memories
Torturing and tormenting the voice within
How could she go on?
How will she go on?

She smiles to herself and says,
"Everything's going to be alright."
A lovely girl she is…
A bright and sunny Sunday afternoon
The sound of waves drumming against the shore seems like melancholic harmony to her ears
She hums along a beautiful melody unknown to the world
A sigh escapes her withered poise
Tears run down her cheeks
A lovely girl she is…
The world is too immersed with their problems
Sometimes they don't see those who are in need
This world filled with superficial beliefs and commercialized schemes;
They are blinded by the cause, by their cause
And forget the strength in gravity of compassion and empathy

A lovely girl
Walking down the street
Nobody knows
How lovely she is...

Life so far...

2007-05-05T03:15:00.000+10:00

Life so far.............hmmmmmm.....

In the dark I hear the cars goin at 60km/h..
Up and down the road..
In the dark tonight I hear the same thing with a little extra,
This, "tot tit tot tit tot tit" annoying sound..
Construction workers sweating in the cold.
While everyone's sleeping (the majority at least),
They're out there drilling, digging, mending the tramtracks..
Night after night..
Unfortunately, tonite they moved a little bit closer to our home..
Oh, Well..

I was suppose to be doing my assignm actually..
Due last Wednesday but got a short extention till I don't know when..
But I'm striving to finish it and hand it in this Monday..
I am suppose to do an interview with an older person (above 55y/o)
and write a case study about what I got..
Main aim is to find out about his or her turning points in life..
It sound like an interesting assignm but I'm just stalling and stalling
since I first knew abt the assignm.
But hopefully I will get to interview Bill and Jan (my parents in Melb) tomorrow or day after..
Hopefully.... and get the assignm over and done with!

Also, for those who didn't know,
I got a job at the Pancake Parlour in Jam Factory on Chapel St!
My second week now and I'm doing so bad!
Ok.. not bad, it's just those silly tiny mistakes that I take seriously all the time..
I feel like a rude waitress who keeps on smiling..
Eveybody's really friendly there and when I first started working,
I didn't feel like a newbie..
I felt welcomed.. hehe..
And so far, I'm having a great time there even though it can get quite tiring at times..

I miss you all.... Wish you were here :(

-Synchronicity Out-

in the light we walk...

2007-04-26T07:25:00.000+10:00

"Although I've traveled far
I always hold a place for you in my heart
If you think of me, If you miss me once in awhile
Then I'll return to you
I'll return and fill that space in your heart"
-Tracy Chapman

hey people!
the thing is sweden is pretty great, really it is but I can't stop thinking about melbourne and you guys, all of you I got to know and all of you who actually found your way into my heart.

I love the fact that my family is just two hours away and that my old friends are still the same but sometimes I catch myself longing to be with you instead.

This morning I dreamt about ihouse, I was there with an old friend and I saw dustin and fybian and jan, lovely lovely jan. It felt so real but I knew it was dream all along.

Me and Yohanna were just having a small chat about how much the whole melbournething actually meant for all of us who was there and we doubt that other people have the same feelings as we do 'cause melbourne and meeting you has to be THE greatest thing in our lives.

Don't get me wrong, we like being here but right now, we'd give anything to be in wattle with our girls.

thanks for all the good memories you've given us and for letting us be a part of yours.
so much love/ sweden.

ps. the snow is gone and other then missing you, we're good.ds

-Synchronicity Out-

Four-Legged Friends.

2007-02-18T01:48:00.000+11:00

It has been a while since I had a four-legged companion.
Was browsing thru, I clicked on my enrties in Dec 2004 and this was the only entry that came out.
Wasn't plannin to read it but I did anyways.
Although, From time to time I'd like read this just to remind myself what a horrible person I am.
It was 4 years ago, but didn't really feel like it was that long ago.
Teddy was longer than this, I miss them. I wish they were still around...
God... Please forgive me..

'Along the way, some thing that visited me some time ago blinded me. It kept on haunting me; never wanted to leave me alone. I walk pass you, I didn't stop. Your sorrow eyes, they cry for freedom, seeking for attention. Locked up just because of one person's obsession. You went away, carried the pain with you. Don't know how much guilt, hanging inside of me. God please forgive me for the second time. I couldn't bare looking at that same pair of eyes. I'm happy that you are gone, but I wished you could have stayed longer....

The night was cold,
but I kept my arms unfold,
You were lying there helplessly,
eyes wide open staring at me,

Silence took over my fears,
came abruptly but only to disappear,
I sat there not knowing what to do,
don’t understand why this is happening to you,

Moments went by so fast,
wondering if this will be the last,
Tears rolling down my cheeks,
my inner strength, I had to seek,

Touched your head, you didn’t react,
this is not a dream, while in fact it was a fact,
Your legs, your ears, your tummy,
was getting cold, it started to scare me,

Thru your eyes I saw the pain,
you were so strong, what kept you sane?
Wish I had the power to throw,
all of your sufferings by a single blow,

As the night passes on,
I know there's not much time to bond,
My heart started breaking and it was aching,
as I see your legs stretching,

Couldn’t believe what was happening,
I shouted for my mom and she started crying,
I sat on the stairs mimicking a stone,
couldn’t accept that you were… gone.

-26o7o3- '

-Synchronicity Out-

Language.

2007-02-16T16:54:00.000+11:00

Language comes so naturally to us that it is easy to forgrt what a strange and miraculous gift it is. We humans are fitted with a means of sharing our ideas, in all their unfathomable vastness.

-Steven Pinker (1999)

-Synchronicity Out-

Roses and Red, and the price made all of us Blue...

2007-02-15T01:59:00.000+11:00

"Greatest Valentine Ever!'

JJ & Deakin:

Finally Valentine's day is over. Now it's a new day. same ol' same ol'..
But it's not just an ordinary day for JJ tomorro! It's a special day for him.
He is going to enroll into Deakin!!! Finally!! BOth of us are so excited but of course he is more exceited then anyone in the whole wide world to get to be in Deakin right now.
He was going through so many shitty things before 4pm today ( I mean yesterday).
There were so many obstacles for him to transfer from MIBT to Deakin.
He was even given an option to continue in Box Hill Institute for God's sake. Hell no!
His advance standing credit points that were given a few months back were pushed aside that made him waste so much money on subjects he doesn't have to do.
His attendance was an issue because there was a misunderstanding along the way.
He did well on all of his assignment but he was short of 1 point to get an HD and he can't do anything about (ok, what ever it is, this one is a good thing no matter what.. ehhehehe.. Congratulations Baby).
He did share a part in all this, that made things hard of course.
But after running back and forth from Burwood-Toorak-Burwood,
the waiting, toturing anxiaty feelings, sleepless nights of his were all gone right after 4pm.
The lady in the Arts Faculty came in the waiting room, both of us were jumping up and down inside when we heard her say "OK, Good News......" :)
He finally got an offer from Deakin.
When we were walkin out of the Faculty of Arts JJ said, "This is the best Valentine ever!"
Congratulation again Baby..

'6 Friends/Housemates, 2 couples and 2 single people'

(Disclaimer: Some of these dialogue were not exactly like how they were. Intan just put in words like how she remember the situation. and If you don't understand Malay, Go get the dictionary.. hehe... or just ask me cuz the dic is useless for now)

Situation 1
Davina: Oh my God! You are gonna get so spoilt on Valentine's Day!
Jen: YEA! But I don't get to shag anyone! At least you guys have someone!

Situation 2

Location, Camberwell train station.

Intan: I suggested to JJ that we shouldn't celebrate Valentine's day this year.
Davina: What!? You just gave him the guilt free pass! Why did you say that to him?
Intan: I dunno... :(

Situation 3
Sean: I canceled my date for Jen.
Intan: Aww... You can be so fucking annoying but you're so fucking sweet at times!
Sean: (Smiling) I know... But I have 2 dates for Valentine's..

Situation 4

The night before Valentine's, Outside Video Ezy, Devlin pulls JJ aside leaving me standing alone. So I went back to Jen and walked straight into Coles. And half hour later when we were walking to the car to go back home, JJ said to me in Malay:

JJ: Lepas ni antar korang balik rumah, I dgn Dev nak balik Kmart balik tau. Dev cakap dia nak beli kan Davina something.
Intan: Alaaaa.... Nak ikut!
JJ: No.. Dia tarik I tadi, nak cakap pasal tu. So I suppose dia tak nak sapa sapa tau..
Intan: Hmmm... ok...

And both of them came back with prezzies for Dalina and Davina.. How sweet!

Situation 5

At 12 midnite.. In the middle of the house..

Intan: (Jumping and Shouting) HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!!
JJ: Happy Anniversary! Eh! Happy Valentine's Day...

(Haha.. Bodo)

Situation 6

Davina was still eating, while Dev just left to the kitchen and we were waiting for her to finish so we can go for a rokok

JJ: So Davina, Do you like your gift?
Davina: (Stops eating and looking at JJ funnily) What?
Intan: (turns to JJ and said) Dia tak tau lagi la... (trying to hint)
JJ: Do you like the gift? Intan's gift? (mmg tak caver gile la kan!)

Hehe... Ok.. I wanted to put more but I'm getting sleepy.. Let me just try to keep it up here...

Sean & Jen:

The 2 single people who should be together but I don't think they ever will because they will be in living hell. They were each others Valentine's date. Jen bought him a card and something for him to remember her by and he took he out for dinner at the Meat & Wine Co. and they both finished a bottle of wine together. Both suffering from lask of sleep, but were still standing tall (ok, a lil bit swaying to the left...... and right when they got home hehe..) Sean never had the other date. They were the first to leave the house and the last to arrive home.

Devlin & Davina:

The oh-so-loving-agressive-shouting-grumples&pimples couple from Kenya. Or shall I say Fishie and Fishette. hehe.. I heard that Dev was suppose to take Davina to the Aquarium BUT apparently she had to work the whole day. Dev bought her a hugging Elmo pillow and she drew something special on a shirt for him (did you get him anything else Davina?). Davina was not expecting anything from Dev but he was so sweet to stand patiently in a long line in Kmart holding that pillow. They went to Camberwell for dinner instead and had a few shots of Vodka and Orange was it? I cant remember.. When me and JJ came home, we saw them walking back from the playground opposite our house. (hehe.. So sweet.... ). They were the first to arrive home.

JJ & Intan:

Both agreed on not celebrating Vday this year but....Intan wanted to surprise JJ with a romantic Gondola ride along Yarra River but was too expensive and JJ wanted to surprise Intan with horse riding on the Valleys but Intan complained that she didn't want to bring the car so far, not until the car is serviced. So they ended up having no plans at all. But managed to settle JJ's problem (first story above) and got Intan's prezzie from Intan's Mami we they went to pay Antie Asma and Uncle Ridhuan a visit. Both of them didn't know where to go so they drove to the city and Intan suggested Lygon St but JJ wanted to try Meat & Wine Co. Unfortunatly, they have closed early sempena Valentine's day. So they ended up at Lygon, one Italian place that was still open. Food was good but service not so.. Intan wanted to go to the beach and drink with JJ but she forgot that they had to wake up early the next morning, so she decided to not tell JJ and just go home. They were second to arrive home.

Moral of the story? When the fly drops 4 inches, the pussy gets wet.. HEHEHE (ok.. inside joke.. sorry.. if anyone who have heard of the Fly story, do laff with me.. if not, I'll tell you some other time.. )

There's no moral of the story. Just 6 friends, composed of really tired people who some didn't get enough sleep, and some didn't get enough sleep and went to the gym, some had to work the whole day with sore feet and some who doesn't normally drink coffee and had one before going to the gym and now tired but can't seem to sleep (now I need to pee). All went well, some with plans and some without. Some plans went well, some plans went down the drain.

But in a nutshell, everybody had their share of TLC. Everyone came back with a smile on their sleepy faces even though non of the girls came back with any rose but I'm glad... Fucking expensive! Try to convert to RM?? Gile babi!!
And JJ will be in Deakin with me this semester!!!!! WoooHooooo!!
No matter you are with or without someone, I hope your day was exciting and wonderful as well...
Friends are great!!
Happy belated Valentine's Day people...

(Another Disclaimer: If anyone thinks that some of the content of this enntry is offensive, do excuse me. I don't mean any harm :) Peace out Dog/Fred utt Hund!)

Lots of Love, Hugs and Kisses,
-Synchronicity-

Vday Eve.

2007-02-13T15:00:00.000+11:00

Yesterday me and JJ turned 2 and a half year together (minus the unofficial period of course).
And tomorrow is valentines day.

Both of us agreed that we are not gonna celebrate Vday this year but both of us had plans for each other.
Well, I found this out early this morning when we were just laying down and talking trying to go to sleep.

I found out that JJ wanted to take me to Yarra Valley for horse back riding. It was meant to be a surprise until I mention about the condition of the car and that I prefer not to travel far before the car is serviced. And also, he told me that there will be a guy riding in front of us, just to guide us the way. And that is so romantic having a third wheeler for the whole hour ride.
So we decided to cancel that.

I on the other hand was planning to surprise him a gondola ride on Yarra River. But this plan has been long gone since I was contemplating whether to go with it or not because it will cost me $230 and that is like RM621. Gile ke? I was about to go about it but in the end I changed my mind (Thank God).. Fuhh...

I suggested that we should just make sandwiches and stuff and go to a park and have a nice picnic and just chill since going out for dinner, flowers and chocs are so cliche. For some people maybe picnic is normal to them, but not to us so probably we could do that.

Unfortunately JJ doesn't want to do that either because apparently that was suppose to be the second option but I don't care!
So we were left with nothing, but I did tell him that if he has any other options/plans just keep it in the low low so he can actually surprise me.

Considering our first agreement, after throwing the gondola plan away, I was not actually thinking about what to do on Vday. Of course I am aware that it is coming, it as just that I was not thinking of what to do. And yes I was hoping that JJ would do something for me but even then, I was not going to put that pressure on him so much. (I think... hehe)

Devlin is going to take Davina to the Aquarium since they haven't been there and Davina will go nuts over all the fish. Sean is taking Jen out for dinner but I have no clue where abouts. AND he also has 2 dates on Vday, one lunch with some chick and dinner with Jen. Haha.. nice..

Me and JJ? We will see.. I am just out of ideas of what to do tomorrow. I mean, we can celebrate it the next day but it's just not the same. Moments have past, won't be the same.

Happy Valentine's Day you people...

-Synchronicity Out-

The Cutest Ever!!

2007-02-11T04:17:00.000+11:00

As I am browsing on eBay (yes, All 3 girls in this house got hooked on it and the guys as well, they just don't want to admit it), Devlin took my laptop and asked us to watch something. He said, he showed it to Davina and now she can't stop watching it. I didn't get it until I finish watching this short clip. You won't regret clicking on the 'play' button..

Pls do:

Hehe... Gile chomel!

-Synchronicity Out-

In the cold.

2007-02-07T01:24:00.000+11:00

Here I am, outside 129 Burwood Highway.. It's kinda cold but just nice for me. the guys are all inside in our tiny living area watching a movie. I am not really in a mood for a movie so I took my laptop with me and just sit there with them. We watched 'The Last King of Scotland' in the cinema earlier and that has put my mood off a lil bit I guess. It's just sad to think about those people who are living under some psycho ruler.
But anyways, I tried to write something but I find it really uncomfortable writing when people are around. So that's why I decided to go outside and have a ciggie.

I was looking at old pictures while they were watching the movie and it just reminds me of how vain we are! Haha... all those pictures! Oh My God! I need to clear up my laptop by deleting stupid pictures I took of myself and others.. Hahaha.. All those candid pictures and shit... But then again, when I am deleting, I know I will have problems doing it because I will feel sad erasing those memories... But we'll see how it goes.. Wish me luck!

Coming back to this house, the first time I saw this house was when we were invited for the 'Animal Party'. And that's when I met Davina and JJ met Devlin. How cool was that. Ever since then, we became friends and now we are living together. Even though I didn't really like the idea of staying in this house, but I didn't regret making that decision. I like it now. It's nice and so far we don't have problems with each other yet. So that's good.

Tomorrow is another day and again it's gonna be cold. Rain is expected but none of us are looking foward to that of course. I just hope that we are going to do something instead of just sleeping till late and do practically nothing. That has somehow become our daily life routine which needs to be changed! Need to excersize more. Run a lil bit, lift tiny weights a lil. Ok.
Good luck Intan!

-Synchronicity Out-

Beyonce in Melbourne!

2007-02-05T13:24:00.000+11:00

I seriously can't believe that Beyonce is comin to Melbourne!
I can't believe that I will get to see Beyonce performing live!
After all these years, the closest I got was at JayZ concert on the 28th of Oct '06..

Other than that, Just watching her live performances on DVDs or on TV.
I am scared If I won''t get the best ticket..
Ok, I know that I won't get the best ticket because! The best tix will cost around USD400 plus.
So I can forget about it.
If I am working and earnin so much then I would have gotten the tix by now.
For all you know it, I would have the tix in my hands right now.
But no...
It will all be a fantasy to me..
I will get the most expensive tix that I can afford. Hehe..
I have too!! I can't miss out on this!
Right now, I don't care abt any other concerts except Beyonce's and Boys II Men.
OMG~~~!!!
I can't wait till it's April 25th!
Oh.. and also Feb 22nd!
Wooooo Hooooooooooooooo!!!!

-Synchronicity Out-

I'm in Bubble World!

2007-02-02T09:25:00.000+11:00

Ok, pictures have been modified by Ms Rimaz to make us look better.. hehe..

You won't believe now nice the weather is today. Clear blue sky! That should be a sign that JJ is going to do well on his exam. hehe.. A few hours to go and he will be free for a while before next semester starts.

10 days to our 2 and a half year anniversary..
12 days to Valentines day..
20 days to Boys II Men..
22 days to JJ's birthday!!

Woo Hooooo!

-Synchronicity Out-

Bubble Session

2007-02-01T08:07:00.000+11:00

Ok Weird......
8 am and I'm wide awake! My bladder is shouting, pleading to be emptied.
And so I did. But after that, my brain automatically starts to work which is not funny.
So I picked up JJ's laptop and started to write.
I had somewhat a bad but ok dream.
It seems like everything I did or feel or wanted to do or didn't do or forgot to do or someone I thought or didn't think of was in my dream. Somehow.
And one thing I remember vividly is writing in my blog.
I was disturbed by the dream that led my brain to just not want to relax. Maybe. hehe.

Yesterday, when we got back from Chadstone, while Devlin and JJ were busy tryin fix Dev's new speakers, Jen grabbed her camera and dragged me (with my water bubbles) and Davina out to the playground.
We had our 'Bubble Session'. It was really fun! At first Davina refused to let Jen take her pictures but after she saw how wonderful 'those' pictures were (well, to be specific 'her' pictures .. hehe) she got so excited and wanted more!
She was so beautiful...!
The boys came aftera while, I was still blowing bubbles everywhere, to everyone. I was like a little child, carefree. Both boys were complaining about their pictures that were taken but they were nothing like they discribed! Nothing like how they thought they look like! They were wonderful!

Here are some of them...

There are more but since the size of the pictures are big and I'm too lazy to resize em pictures, I'll put up more in the future posts.

-Synchronicity Out-

Red

2007-02-01T02:02:00.000+11:00

1st of Febuary.. ahhh Febuary...
The month of L.O.V.E.
The month of JJ's birthday..
The month that is full of JJ's family's birthdays..
The month when 'we' (people of 129 Burwood Hwy) will get Foxtel.. hehe
The month of preparation for the new semester..
The month that Einstein Bar in Uni will reopen..
The month of anticipation..
A month that has less days...

For each and everyone of us, we will surely have our own hopes and dreams..
And since it is the second month of the year, (lets just hope) that people are starting to get serious about their new years resolutions.. (And I am definitely not one of them)...(oh... and the people around me as well...)
Before you know it, it'll be about time to think of your next new years resolution and you think to yourself,
what have you achieved?

Well anyway... Good luck in everything in life and may you get a nice presents from your whoever.. hehe...
Goodnite...

-Synchronicity Out-

New Year 2007

2007-01-11T12:50:00.000+11:00

1 year 6 months seemed long but also seemed like nothing..
Many things happened along the way..
People come and go out of my life..
Many joy and laughters..
As well as frown and tears..

In a few days time, me and JJ are going to leave iHouse for good..
Moving not far away.. but I will definitely miss this place..
Went into my house yesterday.. I felt like home..
And wish that those people were still there..
But it was empty..

Now it's already 2007..
A year that I was waiting for but not quite..
A year that I am suppose to be graduating (hopefully)
A year that I turn 24 (but thank God it's not another 10 months fuh)
A year that I am moving out from iHouse
A year that has the number 7 (I dont fancy number 7)
A year that I am moving into a 7 bedroom house
A year that ...... bla bla bla!!!

They contradict..
aahhhh 2007...
What a big number...
This year is gonna be better..
Well, At least I hope...
Happy New Year everyone (even though it's the 11th now.. hehe)

-Synchronicity Out-

Random conversation on the screen.

2006-11-15T00:44:00.000+11:00

INTAN: It's Tuesday night, here I am sitting in JJ's room with him singing 'Look in to my eyes' by Outlandish, smoking at the same time...
He wants to write something but he doesn't know what to write..

He cooked good dinner today.. But he thought that I didn't like it. As usual, he will try to force me to eat capsicum.. I don't mind them but I prefer not to eat them.. You know?

iHouse is really quiet.. Only a few is left here with us.. And we've got almost a week left to find a nice house for ourselves.. Gots to find a job as well..

Somebody just knocked on our door but when JJ wnet to see who it was... no one was there..... JENG JENG JENG!

Now I pass the floor to mr JJ...

JJ: floor???? floor???????? FLOOR?!?!?!??!?!?!?!??!
its a keyboard man...

my god!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! intan is soooooooooo annoying:P

before intan passed me the keyboard her feet were on the desk and blocking my view of the screen and but that didnt bug me as much as the bloody hairs on her big toe.... erghh...:0

anyway, im gonna pass the KEYBOARD to intan now.

INTAN: ... ehem... ok... end of conversation... love you bb...

JJ: Love you too... :p

-JJ & Intan Out-

YESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-11-09T12:00:00.000+11:00

I'm done with all those shit!!!

-Synchronicity Out-

iHouse..

2006-11-08T11:58:00.000+11:00

People come people go.. Don't be sad because it ended, be happy because it happened.. (I love it how Jules can be positive at all times..) :) We'll meet again one day..Love you all.

Just came back from an exam. My second and second last exam. I don't know whether to say I did well or not, but I surely know that it was better from my first paper. It was fairly easy (I guess). It was Social Psychology B with alot of theories to know, understand and to remember. 40 mcqs and 6 short essay questions which we had to choose 4. I bullshitted all the way but for my last answer, I am confident to say that I got everything right. I got a Pass for the assignment, so I'm hoping for a Pass for the overall unit. Good Luck me!

Felt so relief but not quite yet. Tomorrow I have Behavioural Neuroscience paper and that will be my last! HAven't really gone through all 13 topics and I'm quite scared since this one is very detail. But we will se tomorrow afternoon! I'm kinda glad that all my papers are in the morning rather then afternoon paper. So, by this time tomorrow, I'll be partying till I can't stand! haha...

I was studying in my house last night, everytime I hear doors opening and closing, or the toilet water's running, I imagine that it was Amran or Johanna. Felt like it. :) Except I know if i walk in the house or open my door when I hear somebody walking out of their bedrooms, I'll see someone else. Everything's the same but it's actually not. JJ and Sean came to see me for a while last night and both of them agree with me and all of us really miss that house and my room. JJ said, if Amran was still here, she'll knock on the door, opens it, stare at us for a while, and say, "I hate you.." and leave.. hahha.. That is so typical of you AMran.. Or, we'll hear the Swedish conversation on and off.. Johanna getting in her weird mood when she's stressed and screams for no reason but laughs after that when she realize that there are people around..

Dammit.. Good old days... We are leaving iHouse soon.. But definitely come back to visit sometimes... Definitely... This place has hold many people's sweet and sour memories for a long time.. people from all over the world.. and mine will always be here.. Bill and Jan have been parents to many of us.. And they will always be my Australian parents (even though they are from New Zealand.. hehe).. It's really easy to live here, instant friends, when ever and where ever, you know that there are people around you no matter what. It's not like a dorm, doesn't feel like it's a student area as much even though it is, it is just different. I'll miss all these.. GEtting to know new people every semester, create new bond and relationships.. meet different characters.. See different views.. See different perspectives..

I'm gonna miss iHouse so much..

-Synchronicity Out-

Jay-Z Neyo Rihanna & Beyonce In Melbourne..

2006-11-07T03:36:00.000+11:00

-Synchronicity Out-

Lately...

2006-11-07T03:23:00.000+11:00

It has been really interesting since we've been back...
A lot has happen and time is runnin out for me..
Jj counted yesterday, we have only been back for 10 days..
strange.. feels like we've been here long...
2 more exams coming.. One on Wednesday and one on Thursday..
Haven't being a good girl lately.. but I'm working on it..
Lost my Social Psych text book which sucks since I cant read at my own time..
But good in a way so that I will have to finish reading soon
since I borrowed Stephanie's book..
Wish I could sleep rite now...
Wish I could eat Indomee...
Wish I could just not read...
Wish me luck!
I'm off to reading again...

-Synchronicity Out-

Finally Back! Happy Birthday!!!

2006-10-27T03:05:00.000+10:00

Melbourne Time: 3am
Malaysian Time: 1am

I'm finally back in Melbourne on the 26th of October, at 7am this morning, or should I say yesterday morning considering it is already 27th now.
I celebrated my birthday at 12am, Malaysian time, with JJ in the air, flying high above the clouds making our way back to Australia.

Now it has been an hour/3 hours past my birthday. Honestly, it didn't feel like my birthday at all. I didn't sleep in the flight so when we got back, I slept through out the day. JJ wanted to take me out for dinner but he fell asleep as well.
After we woke up, Jen came with apple pies for all of us. We had pizza and coke which is great! Jen left and I fell asleep again.

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Jacob. He asked if we want some cake. But both of us said no.
The guys burst into the room with a choc cake and singing birthday song for me. I was so shocked! It was sooooo unpredictable. And I thought that JJ knew about it but he had no clue what so ever!

For them to do such a thing! that was sooooo sweet. I mean, I was complaining to JJ the whole day that it doesnt feel like my birthday at all and suddenly something like that happen, You feel apreciated and loved even though you are not so close to them.
That was memoriable..

Happy Birthday to me.. :) I am now officially 23 years old.
It was so much fun back at home with friends and family. It was so hard leaving them. Especially Mami. Not expecting anything when I got back to Melbourne.

But now, I know that I am loved everywhere. Even though we were back in Malaysia for just a short while, but it was worth it. So many things can happen and change in just one month. It was amazing..

How do I feel being back? Of course I miss a lot of people, and how I wish some people are still here to greet me, to see their smiley faces when I enter the house, but for now, it is all good. There are still a lot of welcoming cheerful smiley faces to see us being back. They're great..

New memories we create, but the old ones will remain fresh in the back of our heads. Forever will we cheerish them together.

-Synchronicity Out-

Just Updates 2!

2006-10-22T07:12:00.000+10:00

Ok... Obviously, not everything that we plan turn out to be like how we want them to be.
Didn't wake up early (Duh!). Went to Sungei Wang with Rita. Got a few stuff.
Half way through, I thought I lost rm100 when it was just at the side pocket of my handbag.
Had Nasi Ayam for berbuka at Rita's place with Rita and her sister, Kak Na.
Went to find my Dad a cake for his birthday.
Shak came and we went to KLCC.
After going all over the KL we found the perfect cake.
Strawberry cake. Yummy! I can still feel the cake in my mouth. *Drooling*
Spent time with Dadi and Mami before me and Mami started packing.
Which means that I didn't join Zal for her gig, I felt so bad.

Now I'm separa packed, for Kuantan and Melbourne.
But Mom asked me if I could skip it since it's Dad's birthday.
Many times before, I asked Zal if I could back out but she insisted me to sing.
So I finally managed to persuade myself that it's going to be fine and I was really looking foward to it.
(Refer previous post)
But in the end I had to call her and cancel. I still feel bad until now.=(
Tomorrow we are going back to Kuantan.
Raya is probably on the 24th of October.
Mami plans to come back to KL on that day itself.
That means, the plan we had for first Raya night is going down the drain for me.
But I guess it's for the best..

-Synchronicity Out-

Just Updates!

2006-10-21T06:56:00.000+10:00

It has been a hectic week. Long and busy days. And this won't end until my exams finish.
Next week's Raya, means end of Ramadan. Legal eating in publics again =) Yey!
I'll be going back to Kuantan on either Sunday or Monday and on the second day of raya,
me and Jj will be making our way back to Aussie Baybie..

It has been great so far here in KL.
Though i didn't get to see all of my friends or spend a lot of time with each of them,
I think it was wonderful and enough for a short time.

Tomorrow Zal has another gig at No Black Tie and she has persuaded me to sing one song.
Ok, more like tricked me into singing. Hahaha.. But I think it'd be fun. I haven't sang properly for quite a while now.
So, I know I'll sound like a frog but what the hell..

I've been coughing since I've been back.
And lately, the cough has gone down but now I sound like I have running nose.
So go figure lah..

Yesterday I was suppose to send in my 'Take Home Exam' for my Understanding Health subject.
Since I'm here, I thought of emailing it to Jen and ask her to hand it to the faculty for me.
But then I thought it'd be easier if I ask one of my classmates to send it for me.
But I tought wrong....

It was due on the 20th of October but she thought that it is due on the 20th of November instead.
So, I emailed her my paper on the 19th and she told me just now that she hasn't send it in.
I got so annoyed with myself because JJ warned me about this.
He said, I should just ask Jen to send it in for me.
But I insisted that it would be easier because this girl is sending her work as well.
Silly me. I just hope that my marks won't be deducted.

It's Deepavali today and my Dad's birthday on Sunday. I haven't gotten him anything yet..
I don't know what to get him though... hmmm....
JJ just left for Kuantan with Edmund and Eunice at about 2am just now.
Hope they will reach Kuantan safely. Really hope they can make it for the gig tomorrow,
But I doubt it. I wouldn't ask JJ to drive all the way back to KL just for that.
Plus his mom has been asking him to go back earlier this week.

And Dahlia, if you are reading, I know I was suppose to post up pics from that night..
But I haven't and hope to do it soon, like tomorrow or sumn..

I haven't been to Sungei Wang and I think tomorrow is my last chance..
I was suppose to be scouting for wings but I haven't gotten a time to do that as well..
Every single day.. Massive traffic jam everywhere in KL.
Once you are in it, Be prepared to stay there for a while.. So going into town is such a nice idea ;p

The only time that I am willingly to be stuck in the traffic is when I have to pick JJ up from his house.
Other then that, I'd rather be around here.
So going to Sugei Wang is not on the top of my list even though I really wanna go there...
But I gotta go tomorrow, if not I won't go at all!

I got an extension for my Neurobiological Behavior assignms until late next week.
It was also due on the 20th of October.
So, even though raya.. I still have to carry my books around. Dammit!
Haven't really started studying for my exams. So Should do that soon right after I finish the assignms.
Wish me luck!!!

Have a great time where ever you are!!
Happy Deepavali to all Indians out there..
And Happy celebrating Aidilfitri to all my fellow Muslims out there..
Ampun maaf zahir dan batin..

-Synchronicity Out-

I am So Freakin Bored Rite NOW and I dot dot dot . . .

2006-10-13T08:23:00.000+10:00

I am so freakin bored and I am so full and I can't sleep and I should be studying if I can't sleep but instead I'm doing this...

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Intan Abas
Birthday:	26 October 1983
Birthplace:	Alor Setar, Kedah, Malaysia
Current Location:	on My bed in KL
Eye Color:	Very Dark Brown
Hair Color:	Black
Height:	5 Feet approx.
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Right (wish I'm 'both handed' tho) teeheehehe
Your Heritage:	Javanese+Chinese=Malay
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Havanas Thongs
Your Weakness:	My Oink Oink..
Your Fears:	Roaches and Failing or Disapointing someone..
Your Perfect Pizza:	Make-Your-Own-Pizza
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	Pass my exams with flying colors without studying.. hehe
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	hey or oi
Thoughts First Waking Up:	What was that dream again?
Your Best Physical Feature:	errrrrrr...... JJ said my eyes.. so eyes it is...
Your Bedtime:	6am
Your Most Missed Memory:	Times that have passed and will never come back...
Pepsi or Coke:	COKE!
MacDonalds or Burger King:	MCDONALDS
Single or Group Dates:	Either
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	LIPTON
Chocolate or Vanilla:	VANILLA
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Either
Do you Smoke:	Like a choo choo train.. ok.. not really...
Do you Swear:	sometimes ;p
Do you Sing:	in the bathroom? yes...
Do you Shower Daily:	Are you crazy not too?? Sometimes twice even!
Have you Been in Love:	Yeap...
Do you want to go to College:	Went and still am..
Do you want to get Married:	One fine day..
Do you belive in yourself:	Yeap..
Do you get Motion Sickness:	On a boat? yea sometimes..
Do you think you are Attractive:	Not really... I think of myself as just an average girl walkin pass you..
Are you a Health Freak:	I hope to be..
Do you get along with your Parents:	Yup yup!
Do you like Thunderstorms:	I used to..
Do you play an Instrument:	Everything half way..
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	Nope..
In the past month have you Smoked:	yeap..
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	Nope..
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	With JJ? Yeap..
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	Yeap.. One Utama and Mid Vall baybehh! Missed those places..
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	AAA!!! I want!
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	Nope..
In the past month have you been on Stage:	Nope..
In the past month have you been Dumped:	Nope..
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	Nope..
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	Nope.. (OMG I sound so boring!!)
Ever been Drunk:	yeap..
Ever been called a Tease:	by my Boy? yeap..
Ever been Beaten up:	er.... Not really........
Ever Shoplifted:	Yeap..
How do you want to Die:	Let it be in God's hands..
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	No freakin Idea......
What country would you most like to Visit:	I'd like to visit the whole of Europe again..Since the last time when I was there I was freakin 3/4 years old..
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

-Synchronicity Out-

Time is Running out!

2006-10-13T04:19:00.000+10:00

Ok... Time to panic... Counted, and there's only 18 days left for me before my first exam.
I'm still struggling with some assignms.. and a few concerts to go to...
Friends to see... Family to spend time with... Sleep to enjoy...
Internet to waste time with.. What else?
Man, I'm a busy lady am I not? haha....
Crap... So much for panicking huh.....
Ok! Back to work!!!
Good luck to All of you who are goin to have exams soon!!!!

-Synchronicity Out-

Some things never change..

2006-10-11T06:15:00.000+10:00

I am suppose to be sleeping, but after taking a late night warm shower, I started playing 'Bookworm' online. Although as geeky as it sounds, it's freakin addictive. I never get pass level 9 but just now, finally, just as I got to level 10 ....... BOOM! I lost. I took it as a sign, a sign for me to climb into bed. So I did. I didn't invite my laptop to come with, but she did anyway. heheehe...

I hope that I won't oversleep in the morning since I have to get up to settle my flight ticket back to Melbourne. Ahh... Melbourne.. What a great place to be.. Confusing weather but that's the beauty of the place.. But don't worry, I still complain too.. hehe..

KL.. another great wonderful place. Well, nothing can beat home and that goes for all of us. Where ever you go, how far you've traveled or how long you've been gone, home will always be home. For me, KL is my home. As sucky as it can be at times (like now with the bloody haze and shit) I love it still.

It was 10:30pm, I felt like eating KFC again so mami told me to go buy since they were closing in half an hour at that time. She asked me to get my brother or my dad to follow me but I quickly grab my bag and my keys and made my way out of the house shouting 'I'll be fine!' to her. When I was in the car, I can see her worrying face.

I smiled to myself. Mothers, I shurgged and drove off while waving to my dad who's wiping dirt off his cars. Mothers will always be mothers won't they? No matter how old you are they will always see you as their baby. Fathers too, but, as usual, the man ego, they won't show much affection will they? hehe.. My mami always say, when you are a parent, then you will understand. Which is true, you will never know or understand until you have experienced it, or even anything and everything.

After I got my chicken, I slowly drove back towards my house and I was contemplating whether to go back straight away or just drive around for a little bit. I thought to myself, if this was years back, I'd take any opportunity I can get to sneak away to drive around and have a ciggie before I head home. So, as soon as I reach a right turning a couple of houses away from mine, I turned. Took out a ciggie and lit it up. Drove slowly on the normal route me and JJ always take when we want to take a stroll.

Momeries kept flashing. Good, bad, whatever.. My perfume smell cought my nose and I remembered when I saw Nurul a couple of days ago. I was sitting beside her at a Mamak, while talking, she cut me and said, 'You are still wearing Armani, aren't you?' I smiled and nodded.

As I nearly finish my ciggie, I was near home again. I could hear my mami's cheerful voice welcoming me and the chicken home when i was opening the front door.. And at that time, everyone's in the livingroom doing their own thing. My brother's playing his Japanese song on the piano, Mami's busy downloading online games on hers and Dad's laptop, and Dad's just tiredly sitting there waiting. Again, I smiled to myself and I joined them.

Not long after I got home, JJ called. Made me even happier. For some reason, the conversation we had, reminded me of old times, even before we were together. I thought to myself, some things never change....

Over time, in our lives, we can't avoid changes but we often neglect the little little things that are still the same. I always remind myself, (when I'm feeling positive of course), that without sadness and changes, where would the happiness be?

-Synchronicity Out-

Clearing Sky..

2006-10-08T07:32:00.000+10:00

God answered our prayers..
The weather yesterday was amazingly beautiful..
The night before it rained heavily and with the help from the wind..
We had clear blue sky..
The haze is definitely coming back..
But it felt so great to at least feel that you are breathing clean air..
Even though you never know when it is going to happen again..
Wonderful view of the city especially at night..
Didn't get to capture night pictures..
Silly me..
But oh well... =)

-Synchronicity Out-

Horrible Haze in KL...

2006-10-07T07:52:00.000+10:00

I can't wait to see clear blue sky in KL again..... =(

-Synchronicity Out-

Changes..

2006-10-05T06:10:00.000+10:00

Look around you and think..
How was life last year, or even a few months back?
Things are constantly changing.. People are constantly changing...
You are changing..
We might say that others are different,
What we don't realize is that, We are changing too..
It's so subtle that we ignore some things that are right under our noses..
We go through different things,
Deal with different situations,
People say things that we like and we don't like,
Meet many interesting characters,
You might like them, you might not..

On the surface, everything seems fine,
You meet new people, they seemed nice,
Do you really think they are how they are?
True colors are covered by their smiles and compliments they give,
You might think you have somthing in common,
When the truth is you are the opposite.
Some people except you they way you are,
Some people think you are weird,
Some just take you for granted,
It takes Forever to know a person,
Wait, It takes Eternity even to get to know yourself!
Let alone other people..

Being away from home makes me learn so much..
Makes me appreciate people, things and places..
I might do things that might make others think, "Why?"
I might offend them with what I say or do..
We don't realize sometimes that we are hurting that person's feelings,
We want to believe what we think is right..
I'm not trying to be negative here,
It's just normal, we always think about the bad most of the times.
Another thing is, we always think that we are the best,
We are the greatest, we are the nicest..
We wonder why people are not treating us well,
Why people are acting differently towards us at some point..

It could be them, but it could also be ourselves..
I have forgotten how the movie Fight Club went,
But I will never forget a line from the movie,
(I think it was that movie, correct me if I'm wrong..)
"Every action is a reaction." Which I am holding on to till now.
What makes us act a certain way?
Because somebody did that so that why we did this.
Whay did that person act that way?
Because we did that so they are acting that way...
It's so easy to blame things on other people..
It's harder to blame it on yourself but when you actually do,
You'd feel pathatic.. If it gets too much.. ehhehe...

Omg... what's my point again??
Ahh.. yes.. Changes..
This was suppose to be a happy happy cheerful thought..
but somehow, When I read it from the top,
Dosn't sound that I'm happy now.. hahahhaha...
I think that's a sign for me to stop babbling...
But the most important thing is,
Everybody hates changes
so just set goals and go with the flow..
Know that there are many people care and love you out there..
And just keep on smiling...
=D

-Synchronicity Out-

Go towards the bird!!!

2006-10-03T15:39:00.000+10:00

I've been wanting and mentioning it to my brother but I didnt put it up earlier because of the bandwith limitation in iHouse. But now, I finally did it! Some of you have seen this but for those who hasn't, check it out. They were like dancing together on the beach.. hahahahhaha.....

-Synchronicity Out-

Jay-Z's Coming to Melbourne..

2006-09-26T13:58:00.000+10:00

This place is getting so boring.. I havnt gotten the chance to put up recent pics. But this is coming soon! and the best thing is they are celebrating my birthday in Brisbane and Fybian's birthday in MElbourne with us!! Yey!! I can't wait..
Jay-Z coming with Rihanna and Neyo... Why didn't BEyonce come with him instead????? Damn...

-Synchronicity Out-

Ramadan is here...

2006-09-24T11:55:00.000+10:00

Time is flying so fast. Today is the first day of fasting month and also the second day of our spring break. I'm missin home... The Food, breaking fast at home,family and friends, ahhhhhh.....

Melbourne? As usual, funny weather. It's really windy today and it has just started to rain as I type. Gloomy day but it's better then a hot day =)

Happy Fasting to all my fellow Muslims..

-Synchronicity Out-

finally done.

2006-09-21T10:53:00.000+10:00

"Du är fin som du är
När du står med mig här
Gör dig inte en extra massa besvär
Utan var som du är
Och så ska du få se
Du är värd allt som livet kan ge
Varje lite sak som du gör
Varje litet ord som jag hör
Får mig att förstå
Att en vän som är så
Är det finaste någon kan få.
Alla har vi nåt bra,
Nåt som andra vill ha
Även om det inte känns så vardag
Det är upp till dig
Och även till mig
Att se till att
Allt ordnar sig."
-Molly Sanden

-Synchronicity Out-

Lovely Sunny Windy Days..

2006-09-20T12:47:00.000+10:00

LAtely the weather has been beautiful!
Sunny, warm but windy. Just nice. Feels like we're by the beach...
Exams are in a months time but since next week is our spring break,
Lets make it 3 weeks to exams then..
Assignms assignms assignms... Non-stop..
After assignms, we partay...
When will we find the time to read for the exams?
hehehhe

-Synchronicity Out-

Binge Drinking

2006-09-11T09:14:00.000+10:00

Never have I ever been so dedicated to my work in my whole entire Uni life. The only time I am so dedicated is when the assignm is due in a few hours time. Haha...
That time kelam kabut la buat kerje... Kicking myself in the ass and stuffing my face with ciggie all night long. The assignm is about investigating binge drinking in young Australians. Never thought it would be that Interesting. hmmm...

Anyway...
Yesterday I was sleeping the whole day and woke up at 12 midnight and had a sudden urge to do my work. I've been working since then until now and I feel like puking seeing the word 'Binge Drinking'. I know most people will be like "Alaa keco.. baru skali da nak banga..!" but I Don't care!!! I'm proud of myself!! Gots to give myself some credits right... At least I'll have some motivation for my other assignms, and not doing last minute work again, right? ehehehhe.... Wish me luck!!!!!!!!

ok.. I'm going to pass out now! ZzzzzZZZzzZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz................ ;)

-Synchronicity Out-

I recommend biting off more than you can chew to anyone

2006-09-08T21:30:00.000+10:00

I remember saying to a friend, "I will love. I will love till my heart breaks or mends. Even if the whole world risks to fall, i'll love." I still would. Despite every thing that's happened over the past couple of days, I will love.

We can't let one person tear our lives apart. We can't let ANYONE tear it apart. And let's face it, no one can make us say or do what we don't want? We keep saying that no one knows what it's like to feel this shitty or how no one understands us. What rubbish. Honestly. Do you not remember each and every time that you've been hurt or something really stupid happens? And when someone else tells you the same thing has happened to them doesn't the pain of that event past come back to you? Do you notice that whenever something bad happens, we keep regressing back in our lives? It's sickening.

After all the conversations I've had, without alcohol or pot, I realised that it actually isn't that bad. And things aren't as complicated as they look on the surface.

In the wise words of Alanis Morissette,
You live you learn
You love you learn
You cry you learn
You lose you learn
You bleed you learn
You scream you learn

And you know what? It's fucking amazing to be me.

MeL

-Synchronicity Out-

some tests.

2006-09-08T00:02:00.000+10:00

sometimes people get a bit too much information. hahaha but that only happens when I'm bored and have nothing better to do than this stuff.

Kissing Purity Test:
You've kissed someone...
on the cheek. (x)
on the lips. (x)
on their neck. (x)
in your room. (x)
in their room. (x)

of the opposite sex. (x)
of the same sex. ()
a little younger than you. ()
a little older than you. (x)
who was a complete stranger. ()

shorter than you. ()
with facial hair. ()
with curly hair. (x)
with blond hair and blue eyes. (x)
with red hair. ()

with a tounge ring. ()
with a lip ring. ()
who was chewing gum. ()
who was drunk. (x)
while you were drunk.()

who was going out with someone else. (x)
while you were going out with someone else. ()
who you didn't want to kiss. ()
right after you kissed someone else.()
while kissing someone else at the same time. ()

at a party. (x)
at the end of a first date. ()
at church. ()
in the rain. ()
in the backseat of a car. ()

on a plane. ()
on a roller coaster.()
under water. ()
in a foreign country. (x)
in a public restroom. ()

Your Kissing Purity Score: 66% Pure

For you, kissing isn't a casual thing

Lip to lip action makes your heart sing

Kissing Purity Test

You Are An INFP

The Idealist

You are creative with a great imagination, living in your own inner world.
Open minded and accepting, you strive for harmony in your important relationships.
It takes a long time for people to get to know you. You are hesitant to let people get close.
But once you care for someone, you do everything you can to help them grow and develop.

You would make an excellent writer, psychologist, or artist.

What's Your Personality Type?

You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.
Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.
And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

How Sarcastic Are You?

You Are 84% Pure

You're so innocent, it's almost like you're not human.
Taking this test is probably the naughtiest thing you've done in a while!

How Pure Are You?

-Synchronicity Out-

The Next Day..

2006-09-07T21:13:00.000+10:00

Today was better then the last couple of days. It was sunny but still, windy and cloudy at times. And last night was (I think) the most crowded Wednesday night I've seen this semester. Me and JJ came at 11pm and for the first time the place seemed like a club. It usually closes at midnight but last night they closed at 1am so we got time to get trashed. hehe. It was so hard to walk since people were all over the place. But we managed to get through the bar which was not so bad.

As usual, the next mornin I woke up like shit and missed my 10am class (AGAIN!) but since it's a lecture, it's ok. I just need and hope that I'll have enough time to do the readings before the exams (hopefully).

Tomorrow we are going to Billboard in the city to see the Ying Yang Twins perform. Also at the same time, celebrate Stez's birthday which was on the 6th of September (yesterday). I am not really familiar with their songs but I've heard some and it was quite ok. "It's very Fybian's type of music," I told JJ. hehe.. Will see how it goes tomorrow ;)

-Synchronicity Out-

Steve Irwin..

2006-09-06T20:23:00.000+10:00

Just a few weeks ago JJ was plannin to go up to Brisbane and go visit Steve Irwin's Zoo and see the crocodile Hunter in person. 2 days ago, the whole of Australia, i mean the whole world was shocked by the tragic news. He's gone. Hard to believe when you hear someone has pass regardless of someone you know personally, know of or just heard about them. It is just heartbreaking.

Steve Irwin, host of the Animal Planet series The Crocodile Hunter, was killed Monday during a diving expedition off the coast of Australia, the country's Queensland Police Service confirms.

Irwin, 44, was stung by a stingray while filming a documentary at Batt Reef, Low Isle off Port Douglas at about 11:00 a.m. According to a police statement, "his crew called for medical treatment and the Emergency Management Queensland Helicopter responded; however, Mr. Irwin had died."

Stingrays have poisonous barbs on their tails. John Stainton, who was on board Irwin's boat at the time, told the Associated Press that Irwin "came on top of the stingray and the stingray's barb went up and into his chest and put a hole into his heart."

Stainton said Irwin had been filming a segment for a series called Ocean's Deadliest.

Irwin leaves behind his American-born wife Terri, 42, daughter Bindi, 8, and son Bob, 2.

A tireless wildlife advocate, Irwin's career was not without controversy: In July 2004 he was cleared of charges that he got too close to penguins, a seal and humpback whales in Antarctica while making a documentary, and in January of that year enraged child welfare groups by holding son Bob, then 1 month old, while feeding a crocodile.

In 1992, the year The Crocodile Hunter first began airing, Terri Irwin told PEOPLE of her husband, "The thing that attracts me to him is that passion he has for what he does. The animals have no capacity to return Steve's affection. In fact, all they want to do is kill him."

Irwin himself admitted, "I realize that one mistake and I could be dead, but I've had a lot of experience and mostly I know when there's danger."

People Magazine, 2006

-Synchronicity Out-

Baby Suri

2006-09-06T20:17:00.000+10:00

In Today's news, baby Suri's pictures are finally taken and revealed to the public.
I still love Katie Holmes and I still hate Tom Cruise but their baby is so cute and I have to admit that as much as she looks like Katie, there's a lil bit of Tom in Suri's face and She damn cute. Wish I could touch her cubby cheeks.. ehehhe...
I hope there are gonna be more faces of Suri to come!

-Synchronicity Out-

Talk About Confusion..

2006-09-06T18:53:00.000+10:00

It was nice, sunny and warm just a week ago and here we are back to depressing weather.
Everyday we wake up to a cold, cloudy and depressing weather.
This morning was even worse. I woke up at 8am to see JJ still glued to his computer preparing for his presentation and I could here the rain drops from outside so i went back to bed. Woke up again at 10am when JJ called during his break and it was still raining. Woke up sharp at 12pm and find out that it was still raining and to make things worse, my class was at 12pm.
Should I blame the rain or myself? I reckon I should blame myself...

The weather forecast predicted that it will only be sunny again by monday but I doubt it.. Only trust the prediction they make for the day after not any other day after that. So far the day after has been very reliable. and tomorrow it is said to rain with the minimum tempreture of 7 degrees and maximum of 15 degrees. That's not too bad right?

As much as I hate this kinda of depressing weather, I actually love the cold. WInter to be exact, not just any cold. I live in a country that has summer through out the year but during those years when my brain was just starting to function, I was in a cold country. So, every time it rains during winter here in Melbourne, it reminds me of my childhood, reminds me of my mom and dad when I was baby. The feeling is just too precious. And knowing that all our photos from when I was 3-4 years old were all eaten by those stupid mites in our old house. Tragic.

I'm not saying that I don't like the summer, I do.. It has so much more relations with my life considering I have practically lived with the heat almost all my life. I guess that's another reason why I love the winter. Getting away from being exposed to the 24/7 heat.

In any situation you are in, in any type of weather you are in, with who ever you are with at that particular moment, just take a second and treasure it.. feel it.. cheerish it... Just to appreciate it.. Just think abt it...

Tonight we are goin to Einstein's for the 'Save Einstein's' party. Me and thounsands of other Deakin students are so devestated when we heard the news that they are going to shud Einstein's down for good. I've heard so many rumors about why they are closing it down. But for what ever reason that is, I still think it bloody stupid for them closing it down. Like what everyone said, where can they get beers in between classes? But for me, where can we get good food in between or after classes on campus. Not that the other cafes are not good. But Einstein's serves delicious filling meal. It's where every body meets. It's so convenient and especially Wednesday nights.That's when most of Deakin students hang out (well, although most of the time almost no one is completely sober) and people from other places join us too which is awesome. Without Einstein's, every thing will be gone.. Nothing will ever be the same again. Deakin is going to be so empty.....

-Synchronicity Out-

Time..

2006-09-03T07:47:00.000+10:00

Ok seems like I have nothing better to do... hehehhehe
Guess I'm missing my swedish girls... *damn the clock is not working*

-Synchronicity Out-

Map of Friends from MySpace. coolness....

2006-09-03T02:05:00.000+10:00

-Synchronicity Out-

Merdeka!!

2006-09-01T10:21:00.000+10:00

Yesterday 31st August, was Merdeka, Malaysians 49th National Day.
I can imagine the celebration at home. Must have been awesome with the fireworks and everything everywhere you go.
And I wished I could have been to the Merdeka Party here in Melbourne.
But unfortunately, under a few curcimstances, we didn't go.
But it was fun sinigin the Merdeka song with a few fellow Malaysian at 12 midnite Melbourne time. hahaha..

Selamat Menyambut Hari Merdeka...

-Synchronicity Out-

"Where have you gone? I miss you already"

2006-08-25T17:12:00.000+10:00

Love is a funny thing. you never see or hear it coming. but when it does, it engulfs you and takes you on the ride of your life. you never know when it's going to just fling you off and leave you bleeding alone on the street corner and yet you go along for it any way. It's about taking that chance for happiness. Screw the odds. Screw the fact that you're going to spend most of the time together apart. Screw that at some point being in love will hurt you more than being out of it. You know why? I'll tell you. Because it's just that one moment that makes everything worth while. It makes you forget all your problems and all your pain. Even if it's for a split second.

And even though you're more apart than together, missing them and waiting to see them again is such an amazing feeling. It's so insatiable, so delirious, so killing and yet at the same time completely energising. It is as though you have a whole new reason to go on in this mundane world. Where prospects of getting what you really want are often bleak.

But, they are bleak for one reason and one reason alone. Because you believe it to be. If you wish it, the world can be your playground. It can be your heaven or hell. It's just a matter of perspective. But enough talk of love. I have a massive assignment that I'm gearing up to finish before I go clubbing tonight. I doubt I will finish it. But, this crazy feeling that's taking over me is making me want to be better. A better student, a better musician, a better person. I've found my drive. I found my reason. Have you?

Simply put, out with the old, and in with the new. I've found someone who sees me for me. Not just outwardly. Someone who looks at me and can just be happy in knowing that I'm there. Someone who doesn't try too hard. Someone who gives me my space. Someone I can love.

MeL

-Synchronicity Out-

Pfftt..

2006-08-23T18:13:00.000+10:00

Blurghhhhh.............

-Synchronicity Out-

Another Sunny Day, And The Trees Were Singing..

2006-08-16T15:58:00.000+10:00

Lately, Melbourne has been really sunny. It's also windy today.
I'm sitting in JJ's room and from here I can see the sun shining on to the house in front, and wind blowing that makes the trees sing.
I love to hear the trees singing to me when I'm walking pass the creek or somewhere similar.

JJ keeps on saying, "Spring is Near! Spring is Near!"
It may be far still, but when you think about it, next month is already September so therefore spring is very near actually.. Which means, the semester is not getting younger so we gots to get cracking! Gots to swollow all those words from those thick textbooks, Gots to be serious.. I can't afford to fuck up another semester.. blurrgghhhh....

Also, since the last couple of days, I've been having these weird headaches and just right when I was starting to write this, I open a new Internet Explorer window and saw this on the Msn homepage:

If You Have Unusual Headaches
Sometimes you don't have to think very hard to figure out why you have a headache. Maybe you've consumed red wine or cheese or lingered in a smoke-filled room, all of which can trigger migraines. Or perhaps you're tired from lack of sleep or stressed from a tough day at work. Such circumstances can give rise to tension-type headaches or migraines, the most common types of headache.

So, For those who are having weird headaches and if it doesn't continue throughout the year, don't have to worry.. Could be because of those reasons.. ;)

Another thing that I'd like to share with you guys, Last 12th of August 2006, it was Me and JJ's 2nd year Anniversary... Woohoo!! And the best part is.. Both of us only realize the next day when we were talking to Zal from back home. hehehe... We were so looking foward towards that day and when that day came, both of us just didn't see it coming.. But when we think back, we did a lot of memoriable stuff together.. So that was not too bad.. ehhehe....

Well anyway... So much for now!!!
Adios..

-Synchronicity Out-

So far away

2006-08-02T18:30:00.000+10:00

"On my knees, I'll ask
Last chance for one last dance
'Cause with you, I'd withstand
All of hell to hold your hand
I'd give it all
I'd give for us
Give anything but I won't give up
'Cause you know,
You know
You know..."

Early into the start of the first 2 semesters around this time, I wake up with a jump. I open my eyes without knowing where I am and feel a painful rush surge up and down my spine. Only a little after that do I feel better. Last night was unbearable. Disrupted sleep and nightmares that I couldn't bear.

It was early. I'd say around 11pm. I went straight to my room phone and punched in a familiar number. 573. Do you remember who's number that used to be? Until I realised that shit. She wasn't there anymore. And that's when it hit me. I realised that despite everything that I had gone through it was foolish of me to think that I was so alone when in actuality I wasn't.

Every year, no matter where I am, I keep falling into the same vicious cycle. I spin out of control, scared out of my wits and worried for what will come next. It's the same this time. It's like I haven't changed one bit. My judgement is clouded by the illusion that I crafted for myself. And illusion that even at that point I knew could never be real. A dream. A wasted space. A void that still scars me. What can a person do when what they want is impossible? Do they still fight for that miniscule chance that their dream will come true? Somehow I still am fighting. I don't understand why. I never could understand why.

Most of the choices I've made in this life time seem incomprehensible to many but in my heart I know what I'm doing. This time however, the tides have changed. I'm doing things just because. I do not understand my actions. I do not know why I try so hard. I do not see why I fight for a goal that is so close and yet totally out of reach. This is not what I'm supposed to be doing is it?

Why is it that I have to mask this side of myself and shroud it in big, fancy words? Why do I keep hoping that someone out there reading this knows exactly what I'm talking about when the words I choose are far too ambiguous? Why do I still pray that you will see this when I post this in a place you do not know exists.

I needed. I need to hear you say...

MeL

-Synchronicity Out-

Memory Box- Pictures....

2006-07-26T05:47:00.000+10:00

Looking at pictures, old pictures. They tore my heart apart..
Not in a bad way.. Never in a bad way..
Pictures remind me of how we were, we were so young back then.
I always avoid looking at old pictures because I know I will end up crying but today I just had to go through them.
Thinking of those people how came into our lives and left.
Thinking of all you people that are still with me..
I know we don't get to see each other as much,
I pray that these friendships will last,
and things will not make us have awkward moments when we reunite.

Looking at those pictures,
I saw how we grew, we grew together babes..
There are times that I couldn't make it..
I didn't get to be in some chapters of your lives,
I wish I was, in fact, I still wish I am there with you..
I see pictures of you and other people,
I wish I was there to experience things with each and every one of you..
I went on... I saw pictures of us.. I saw my picture with you..
I smile to myself.. You still remember me... That's nice..

I wonder how special I am to you..
Am I as special as you are to me?
I'm missing in your chapters right now..
Wait... Silly me... I know I'm not..
I know I'm there with you..and you're here with me..
I have my own book to write, new chapters to start..
Experiment new thing, different things..
I know I will be seeing you again..
Soon...

-Synchronicity Out-

Missing you...

2006-07-23T15:51:00.000+10:00

Today is the starting of the last week of July,
another mellow Sunday afternoon with the usual confusing depressing weather.
I recognize this feeling, this room, this smell, this view, this sound.....
Everything feels the same in here.. But you are not here..
I miss you...
I wish everything is still the same...
I wish you're still here....
I miss you...

-Synchronicity Out-

all said.

2006-07-18T02:07:00.000+10:00

You're gone from here
Soon you will disappear
Fading into beautiful light
'cause everybody's changing
And I don't feel right.
So little time
Try to understand that I'm
Trying to make a move just to stay in the game
I try to stay awake and remember my name
But everybody's changing
And I don't feel the same.
-keane

it's been so much and at the same time nothing going on since I got back home. I think I even lost count of how many weeks I've been here now.

a close friend has been to the hospital. he is better,thank god. and there is this three people that used to be the closest to me when I was between 14-17. and then so much stuff happened so we kind of drifted apart. their father died yesterday. it feels weird when people close to you die, it makes it all more real. I think about death everyday,everytime I step outside my door. because in my mind it's something negative, it ends an episode in people's life and it makes me see clearer but even though I know I don't have to be scared, I'am. not of dying but the fact that you leave people behind with holes that will last and remind them of you. I'm scared I'll lose someone and the day it happens, I accidently did something mean or said something that I won't be able to take back. and being oversensitive is not something I like about myself. People say, "oh you have such a good heart". whatever I don't care, I just don't want to be so damn oversensitive about everything. I can't even watch a movie without tears. that's just so lame. imagine then what condition I'll be in when people die. and it feels like I should've been there for them more but so much came in between and I don't know why I had to be the one that should try to mend it all especially when I had so many other people I did care about.

I want to be in i-house with you guys, it's not that I don't like it here but it's just different and with the fall almost knocking on the door, I can just imagine how it'll be like in few more weeks.
The best thing about being here is the family even though my brothers irritate me and makes me want to crawl out of my skin from time to time. haha, yeah you know how brothers or siblings in general can be like.

I don't listen to erykah badu a lot but I got my sister to loooove her and india arie too. she needs other idols than those MTVh--s shaking their asses for money. she loves the song "video" which is so funny because she is so far from india's "I'm not the average from your video" anyone can get. But I know she would like to be that kind of person who doesn't care about what others say about her looks or her because she's happy with herself. she's thirteen, she'll get there someday. but for now, whatever she says I know others opinion is important and I understand. good thing everything they say about her is positive except the fact that it really gets to her head. hahaha, girls, what do you do?

anyway, I don't know when I'll see you guys again but know that I miss you guys. I even miss sitting on the sofa watching movies and you guys walking in and out of our apartment and that is something that really really bugged me at the time especially when I had a bad day.

-n.a

-Synchronicity Out-

Winter Semester 2, 2005.

2006-07-07T12:43:00.000+10:00

This is how our board in the livingroom looks like now, is that mean to the new students???

12pm, it is sunny and the weather is 13.3 degress but feels like 12.7 degress. Also was predicted that it is going to shower today. Funny because the sun is so nice that you can never thought it would shower during this kind of weather. But then again, it's Melbourne, what can I say....

Today, 7th of July, 2006. Tomorrow will be exactly a year since I left for Melbourne for the first time. It was weird. I was scared that I won't have any friends. I was scared because I was moving to a foreign country where I know, no one, no where and absolutely nothing! Though I was not alone, my parents were with me at that time, I was still scared. I didn't know how to cook, I didn't bother to learn. It was cold and every face I see, were unfimiliar. I felt lost.

Looking back, I remember the first night I arrived, I had a long ice breaking chat with Johanna. She first hated me when I entered the house with 5 big bags where she had to pack her whole life in a suitcase of 20kg and I had excessed my baggage limitation thanks to my parents. They didn't bring a lot of stuff so they carried all my shit. of course she didn't know that at first. After the talk talked got smoother and better. Over the time, we got to know each other inside out, very slowly but surely and our bond just got stronger everyday.

Both Amran and Johanna were on the couch in front of the TV bunddled up in their big comfy blankets when I first arrive that day. I was guided to my new room and I felt like I didn't want to go out of the room. I was shy, scared, and just afraid that people might not like me. But I know I had to push myself to go talk to one of them.

Amran was the quiet one (besides Chia Ling of course hehe). I didn't really talk to her that much at the begining of the semester. But somehow, we got really close. Our friendship just grew. Seriously, if I was not living with her, I'd have a whole different perspective of her. She's one of a kind. If you don't know her, you would think that she's snobby if you catch her at the wrong time. Other times she's the most friendliest and the most craziest person I know. We learned about one other and somehow, both Johanna and Amran became to closest family I have in Australia. They were my sisters I never thought I'd get.

Our first house party was somewhere down the road. 3 of us followed Sunil and all his Canadian friends for a while and left because we couldn't take it. Damn that was horrible for us. It maybe good for all the Canadians, but not for us though. How can we forget such inccident. Hehehe....

I was in the kitchen and my parents were in watching TV in the living room when Netsai came in the front door with Nick helping her our with her groceries. She was loud, bubbly and extreamly talkative. She sort of got along with my mom but not quite. They talk so there's no problem there but that's also the problem. When both needs to talk, you know how it goes ;). She was the only girl from the previous semester 1, 2005. she's nice, but we didn't get to know her well back then since she's always not around, busy with her 2 jobs and studies. But last semester, she was around more which was nice. This semester, it's the two of us who have been here long, getting new housemates and shit.. At least I'm not alone...

A night before the orientation day, I was sitting by the picnic table smoking and that's when I met oh-so-talkative Mel. She was the first person who smokes in iHouse at that particular moment. We talked and became friends after that, Semester 2, 2005, things were different. A lot different. Semester 1, 2006 was not bad. A lot of Americans but I had JJ with me and we met James and Jen which were nice and I didn't want to let go. Fuck, things are going to be even more different this time, Semester 2, 2006. Somehow I don't really feel like going through this semester. I'm being bias I know. Just need to get use to changes, time will tell, right?

12pm, it was sunny and my eyes were wide open by a fimiliar sound I always hear in the mornin. The squeaking sound of Johanna's door. It's very distinct since her door is right beside my bed. Amran's door does the same sound but softer. For a split second, I thought it was Johanna coming out from the sound of the door. But as soon as I realize that it was the new Hong Kong girl, my heart sank.

I wanted to go back to sleep, the dream was so nice. Everybody was there, I wanted to go back to that nice happy place but I couldn't. So I got up and sat by my bedroom window. It's 20 past 1pm. Yes, the weather is looking sad now, prediction was right, the sky's going to cry....

-Synchronicity Out-

High Tides and Low Tides

2006-07-05T22:42:00.000+10:00

Wow... Team blog :)
Anyways, here goes... So you lot know that I'm still in Singapore. I'm only gonna be back the 16th night (I think). But here's the amusing thing. You know that we all left home to go get our degrees and all that right? So what happens when we leave? It's not just home, it's people. We drop our lives and start completely new. And at some point we have to discard this new life and jump back into our old one.

Sometimes these 2 realities clash and sometimes they don't. But what happens when it's clear that you live two completely different and independent lives? What happens when the people in one place see you differently from the people in the other? Eventually these 2 realities are going to become one big picture right?

I guess I don't really have much of a point here but I will say this. I don't think I'm the only one who feels sad leaving Australia to go home and likewise when I leave home to Australia. I begin to think that this entire chapter of my life is just... sad. Ah well

So who's up for partying?

MeL

-Synchronicity Out-

Nothing Much

2006-07-05T18:48:00.000+10:00

What a lazy day.. After finishing Lost Season 1, now L-Word.
starting tomorrow a new girl's gonna come and live in our house. It's gonna be weird.
I didn't get to register for my tutorials and practicals yesterday I don't fucking know why.
Stupid online service. why don't go back to doing it manually?
I have no freakin idea what I want to write.
Have a great day...

-Synchronicity Out-

Mid-Year Ball 2006

2006-07-03T20:47:00.000+10:00

I didn't take a lot of pictures from that night, especially at the After Party. Hehehe.. But these are some that I have.. Enjoy...

JJ & Me

James & Jen

Jen, Me, James & JJ

Jen & Me

James, Jen, Julia & JJ

Julia & Jinx

JJ, Julien & Jinx

Me, Shannon & Jen

Jen, Julien & Me

Jen, Julien & Me

JJ, Shannon,Julien,Jen,James & Me

Crazy Jinx, Me & Amran

Misha, JJ & Amran

JJ, Jinx, Amran & Fybian

Fybian & the 2 girls

Amran & JJ

Sean & JJ

Sophie, JJ & Katrine

Dustin & JJ

-Synchronicity Out-

Sunyi.

2006-07-03T17:12:00.000+10:00

iHouse is extreamly empty. It it so weird. The only people me and JJ see are Devinka, Sean and Fybian and Netsai (when she's not at her boyfriend's place of course). A few others are still around, like Julien, Jinx and Dustin, but we just don't see them most of the time. A week of the semester break just ended. New student are starting to come at the end of this week. Both me and JJ are gonna get new housemates.

My house:
Wattle 3a BLISSETT Hannah England (NEW)
Wattle 3b TARZIAN Stephanie Usa(NEW)
Wattle 3c MOHD ABAB Intan Noor Dalina Malaysia
Wattle 3d BOYD Tracey England(NEW)
Wattle 3e CHAN Wing Yee Tracy Hong Kong(NEW)
Wattle 3f MARAVANYIKA Netsai Zimbabwe

JJ's house:
Boronia 2a HUSBAND Wayne Usa
Boronia 2b SHAH V. BALENDRAN Ahmad Johanuddin JJ Malaysia
Boronia 2c PETTERSSON PEEKER Jakob Sweden
Boronia 2d BECHGAAR Jakob Denmark
Boronia 2e HAGAR Ryan Usa

Intersting? Hope so. I'm not really looking foward to getting new housemates. Lets just hope that they are nice people. I'm missing my girls. I'm missing Johanna and Amran badly. The fact that I don't know when I'm gonna be able to see them again scares me. Even though they say that they are coming back next year. What if I'm not here? All the what ifs!

Since everyone left iHouse, we have had these unhealthy habits that I'm not really fond of but still continuing them:

If we're lucky, we'd wake up around 11 or 12pm, we'd probably have breakfast and probably don't. Bla bla bla bla bla and then the sunsets. We'll eat and talk and watch 2 movies and by that time it'll probably be around 3 or 4 am. We'll say goodnight to the rest and me and JJ will be talking for at least an hour before both of us doze off. Next day. Same shit different err... Whatever.

Last saturday, I woke up to a very loud weird noise in our livingroom. So, being the curious me, I went out to check it out and found Bill and Jan cleaning our kitchen. They took the big green garbage bin up to our house and everything was everywhere! So I helped them out a little. That day was tiring. Also, I was going back and forth with Devinka from iHouse to her new house that's just around the corner because she's moving out this semester. Even though it's just 2 streets away, thank God for Morten's car. We'd be dead tired if we had to walk.

There's still a lot of cleaning to do even though the house in general is clean. My room is in a total mess, my kitchen cupboard is also in a mess. JJ is gonna move to Morten's room and Devinka has to move ALL his stuff to thier new house (since they are moving in together). That's another massive thing that we have to do.

I haven't emailed or contacted Johanna and Amran since they left. I haven't been on the internet as much. So I hope they read this so they know that I miss them so bloody much and I feel like they are gonna come back in a couple of weeks time. Girls, I miss you guys so much.. Please Come back!!!!!!!!

Oh! Bill and Jan took out the side table in our living room and put the tv there. So the livingroom looks completely different but similar to the house below ours. Both me and JJ don't really quite like it but we know we'll grow into it. Plus JJ, Sean and Devinka Just got new TVs. Yes, TVs. Each of them got one each. Crazy YES! Pictures will come soon. iHouse is very quiet but not so quiet with Sean's new speakers, Fybian's and JJ's. Good thing is no one is here to complain and Laundry room is not as crowded as always. That reminds me, I have to go do my laundry now............

-Synchronicity Out-

Just Remember Me..

2006-06-28T08:40:00.001+10:00

Seriously, I've been thinking about it for the past couple of days and I've been wanting to update my blog ever since but I never got the chance to plus I go blank everytime I start to write. Funny....
It's getting colder and people are getting lesser and lesser everyday.
There's so much that I want to say but it's too hard....
Probably I'll get back on track in a couple of days..

-Synchronicity Out-

Should I Say More?

2006-06-18T09:53:00.000+10:00

'Everything happens for a reason'
We keep on blaming everything that's in front of us instead of taking a while to think about the situation correctly.

"Every action is a Reaction"
Do not think the other person acts differently for no particular reason, You put an impact to each and every one around you.

'People come and People go'
The come and they leave sometime in your lives. You may be far physically but you can always be near to each other's heart.

'You win some You lose some'
That's just the way life goes.....

Recent Pictures:
Max Brenner with my two Sisters
On Rusell St. Not knowing where to go
Last dinner with Mel at Sofia's
It was so hard to get Amran's picture
Waiting for a cab outside iHouse
at Elephant and Wheelbarrow(EW), Johanna's last Saturday
at EW, With the guys who stayed by the bar all night
Still at EW with the girls
at EW, What are you looking at Sean??
Outside EW, Closing

-Synchronicity Out-

Happy Birthday JenJen

2006-06-13T00:52:00.001+10:00

It's Jen Jen's birthday today but she's not officially 19 until 7 in the morning. hehe....
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JENJEN!!!!!!

-Synchronicity Out-

Australia Vs. Japan

2006-06-13T00:31:00.000+10:00

What a wonderful day...
I freaked out when I woke up and saw the time was nearly 11am. I haven't finished my Music assignment and I was goin to have a performance test at 2pm. So I thought, fuck it.. I'll just give a shot and ask her for an extention. But guess what?
When I was done with the test (which went well by the way), I walked out not mentioning anything about the assignment to her. But JJ forced me to go back up and try and ask her regardless give approves it or not.
I went back half hearted but it was worth it. Not only she lets me send it tomorrow, she gave me until Friday!! YEY! What a wonderful person she is... I enjoyed my whole semester having her as a lecturer. The first day of my class I felt like I was in the movie Sister Act 2. Haha....

I am suppose to be studying for my Understanding Health exam tomorrow. I haven't finished the readings that I was suppose to be doing and I'm goin to try my best to know what is where in the book since it's an open book exam. There will be no multiple choice or true/false questions, only Five short answer question. Sounds easy hey? Don't think so... We'll see.. Johanna and Amran gave up studying and they are watching the game between Australia vs. Japan with JJ and Misha and Drew. I'd like Japan to win but since I'm in Australia, I'd like Australia to win... hmmmmm... nahhh... I'll stick to Japan...

Also..... I think I found a dress for the Mid-Year Ball. Hope they will have my size. After my test, me JJ Misha Jen and James went to Bridge Rd to look/shop around. Misha found a new pair of black boots which are so lovely. We had food at Subway and by the time we finished eating it was already 5pm. We walked around and noticed that everything was closed. Bloody Melb... Everything closes early here. I miss home when it comes to shops. So we went home. I don't care tomorrow after my exam, I'm goin straight to Bridge Rd to grab the dress.

Australia just scored a goal and now it's 1-1. They were shouting from the living room and I could feel the vibaration from here. Jenet, our housemate doen't seem so happy and we officially think that she hates us so much now. We were watching Big Brother Adult Only and more people were here, she came out so many times with a sour face. Errrkk.. hehee.. opps.... And now the Game.... (Australia just scored another goal...) Damn...

-Synchronicity Out-

Chasing for the Stars...

2006-06-10T09:08:00.000+10:00

Slow music was playing, But i can still hear the birds singing from outside my window. Tried so hard to concentrate on the book I was reading since the past couple of hours ago, although I know it's no use reading. My heart rate was slowly increasing as the sun was going down. I scanned around to see if there's any faults that I could still fix before the time comes. My eyes can't stop peeking at the white ticking clock on the wall and everytime I glance, it was only 3-4 minutes pass. When I'm not looking, it still bothers me with the sound, calling out for me to look at it. Still trying to keep my eyes locked on the book on the table, the sound of the music coming from the speakers, the birds singing outside, the clock ticking, my head just couldn't shut the hell up! Suddenly....... the phone rings................

-Synchronicity Out-

Combo Pack Coming Tomorrow!!

2006-06-09T00:48:00.000+10:00

Tonight will be the last night I'll be sleeping alone. JJ's coming back tomorrow!!!! YEY!!! Plus, Misha is following him.. So even better!! Except that I will have to restrain myself from having too much fun because my exam will start in a couple of days. Which sucks though because she's leaving on th 18th and I will still not be done with my exams by then. I'll have my sleeping buddy + the sister! Pillow talk Combo! ehhehehehe.....

I did my hair today in Chadstone, Finally! Jen did hers too. Hers turned out good but i don't really like mine. Well at least one thing down and more to go! It does feel like I've done a lot but the fact is, I haven't. I still have an assignm due on Monday, which is the same day as my performance test for piano. Gots to get cracking! So much to do, so little time... I have yet to find a dress for the Mid-Year Ball or started studying for my Research Bloody Methods in Psychology B. Seriously, That subject can scar you for life! Not one person who is doing Psychology that I know of has told me that they love, or better yet, like the freakin subject. If anyone out there who love it please do tell me so I can book a 1 to 1 private lesson for me to score. Dammit!

I'm a bad Psychology student trust me. Do not ask me in depth question related to Psychology. But NO we can't read minds!!! Mostly everyone who heard me saying, "I'm a Psychology student." And they will say, "Oh! Are you reading my mind right now?" NO! We can't.... I wish I could though ;) and then I can be qualified as one of the XMen members.. ehhehehe.... How nice...

Me and Amran was suppose to study together day after day and it seems like it's never goin to happen hey? hehehe... I know tomorrow it's going to be hard for me to keep my eyes on the books since JJ's goin to be around again *YEY* and plus Big Brother Friday Night Games is on! Talking about priorities huh... Great! Ok... I'm out! Fred ut hund! ;)

-Synchronicity Out-

Synaesthesia 2

2006-06-08T10:54:00.000+10:00

Ok... I got answer from Johanna. Her ColourfulDays:

Monday~Blue
Tuesday~Red
Wednesday~Dark Brown
Thursday~Light BRown
Friday~Orange
Saturday~Green
Sunday~Yellow

-Synchronicity Out-

Synaesthesia.

2006-06-07T02:52:00.000+10:00

Ok... Now it's officially o7o6o6.. Thats Ugly... Well, considering that I hate the number 7 itself, so yeah... Yuck!
In general, I'm not a big fan of odd numbers....

Lets see..... Seven... in different languages jom! Correct me if im wrong for some of them since I took half of them from my translator.. hehhe... If only I knew how to speak all of those languages... IF only.. Well, after going through all of them, pls tell me if you still think the number 7 is pertty?

English ~Seven
Malay ~Tujuh
Japanese ~Nana
Swedish ~Sju
French ~Sept
Spanish ~Siete
Italian ~_ sette
Greek ~επτά
German ~sieben
Dutch ~zeven

From when I was kid, I have the tendency to pair up numbers with colors and that's what they called 'Synaesthesia' which came from the Greek words of Syn that means together, aisthesis that means feeling and -ia which indicates a condition or quality.
I never knew that they had a name for it when Johanna told me. And last couple of months ago, I found out that it was Synaesthesia. *Didn't I tell you that Johanna??* oh well...

I was talking to my housemate Johanna last year and we found out that we have a similar habit. I relate numbers with colors and she relates days with colors!! She told me she use to think that everyone does that and I used to think like that too but we realize that not everybody does it, so it's weird lah kan? And after having that conversation, we concluded that we are not as weird as we thought since she heard about a guy somewhere who has the same tendency as we do. hehe..

I hate the color Green. Coincidently, I hate everything that's green. Not Hate... Hate is a very strong word. Dislike.. yup yup.. more like it.. I don't like veggie, I don't eat them. I am not a fan of plants, I like to see but not own them. When I see green, it turns me off. And guess what number I relate to Green? Seven! Obviously! How funny is that? And when I went to see the fortune teller, she told me that my unlucky number is 7 and the color green. Went to see her twice and she said the same thing.. Not kidding..

But Now I'm trying to be nice to Green and have been starting to buy Green clothing since JJ kept on saying that I need more colors in my closet and he likes to see green on me. ANd I've been learning to eat Veggies *wink wink* I'm still working on the plant part tho.. ;p So yeah... If you see me wearing Green... Yup... Don't say anything =)

Lets see... Other numbers that are very distinct to me are:

5~Navy Blue
6~brownish whitish
9~Yellow
2~Red
10~White
1~White
8~Brown
4~some shades of red

I should go ask Johanna again, which days are which colors!!! hehehhe.... Do you have anything similar with us? ;)

-Synchronicity Out-

The Car Love Affair.

2006-06-06T04:27:00.000+10:00

Current Music: X-Factor by Lauryn Hill

Today is o6o6o6.
How nice is that.. I miss JJ's car.. His cars number is CQ 6666. A white Proton Satria with a lot of dents that has been constantly messy in the inside follwed by a funny smell most of the time but I was still comfortable everytime I was in that car. There are too many memories in that car. FRom the first time I knew him last 5 year until now. Wow... I.. i mean.. we were 18.. Wow... We were so young then... hehehhe...

And I'd always say that our cars were on a date everytime they were parked right beside each other. They were a cute couple. A maroon guy Proton Putra going out with a White messy girl Satria? Match made in Heaven. heheh... Sometimes Sally would come along (Hetty's Silver Kancil) and I'd make Putra cheat on Satria. OMG.. If only she knew... hahhahah... (I really need to stop crappin and go to bed).

JJ's mom is palnnin to sell his car. I hope I will get to see her before they sell her off... She was a Pertty car... =)
Goodnite...

-Synchronicity Out-

Big Brother Duck

2006-06-05T22:49:00.000+10:00

Here I am, sitting in the living room with my 2 beloved housemates watchin BigBrother Adult Only and I'm also checking BigBrother Online.. Nice... BigBrother Geek.. hahaha....
They are talking about farting and blowjobs and everything under the sun...
Me? I'm looking at BigBrother's duck and I've always wanted them.. It costs about $13.95 + $8.50 that comes to about $22.45 for just one duck!! Grrrrrrrrr................ yup.... I can definitely Forget about it.... yep yep!!!!
These are some of the ducks that they have and I WANT!!

Street Bud Duck

Fashion Duck

Surfer Duck

Darling Duck

Pop Duck

Daisy Duck

Aren't they cute???????? If I buy all of them, that would cost me about $134.70. Anybody would like to support me to buy ducks?? hehehhe... guess not.... Anyway.... ;) OH! and some of the undies too!!

Wanna

Shop here

?
-Synchronicity Out-

'Pulling a Joey' and the 'Launderama Kiss'

2006-06-05T00:48:00.000+10:00

How can I forget about my assignment? Hehe... I don't.. I just push them aside and wait till the last minute and then I'll start stressing about it. Procrastinator indeed... Aren't we all? hehehehe...

A lot of us work under pressure, some of us don't. I would like to have my work done way before the due date, but so far it hasn't been hapenning yet. I tried.... I am still trying! I'll start but neglect it after that until right before it's due. I seriouslt think that I can't be in the working area right now. I have a couple of friends who have graduated from college and Uni and thinking of where they are right now, working full-time...... That's scary... Well... ok, yes I know other people work too.. but i'm just comparing myself with the closest people to me. Those who were with me when I was in college, people who lepak at mamak stalls after class, people who were doing assignments when I was doing my assignments too... They are already there.. Doing what people in the real world are doing... psssttttt...... I'm in the real world too!! Well, I'll be there soon... I guess, I hope... I'm 23 this year and doing my third year. I'm near the end but not. I know for sure that I'll still be studying for a couple of years more. For sure....

I knew that I have an assignment due tomorrow, actually later in 10 hours, but I just didn't want to touch it. Me and my fellow classmates were suppose to meet up last Wednesday but didn't happen. Changed to Friday, also didn't happen so it was only earlier just now that we could meet up. But not all of us could make it since not everybody has the same schedule but that's ok... I was quite clueless until a couple of hours ago when I went through the worksheets again... What a loser... I'm so fucking slow! I didn't want to ask so many questions when I was with them because they looked like they were... er.... I dunnoo... some of them were relaxed and some were anxious to finish it.. Me? I was just in between. But I managed to finish everything. Yey...

I know... I know... People say there's no such thing as a stupid question. But people usually generalise or stereotype others. It's just in their inate heuristical thinking. I don't blame them. I do that to sometimes.. That's why in certain situations I'd rather shutup then making them annoyed by my 1001 questions. Except when I'm with JJ, that's when I'll blurt out what ever that's on my mind. Yup! he does get annoyed with me....... a lot of times! hehehhe... That's the fun part.. I love him to bits.. Come on... all of us have been there and done that haven't we? Those times when we were 'pulling a Joey' and go "Yeaaaaaaaaa!!!! I get it!!" when you actually dont.. hehehe....
I miss last semester... I want to have a 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' Marathon AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!

One of my fav scenes from Friends Season 1, Episode 5, when Ross was helping Rachel doing laundry:

"(The same woman walks over and takes Rachel's laundry cart.)

Rachel: Whoa, I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this cart.

Woman: Yeah, well, I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. Now come on, get outta my way.

(Rachel looks at Ross, who motions to her to get the cart back.)

Rachel: I'm sorry, you know, maybe I wasn't being clear. Uh, this is our cart.

Woman: Hey, hey, hey there aren't any clothes in it.

Rachel: Hey, hey, hey, hey, quit making up rules!

Woman: Let go!

(They struggle for the cart. Finally, Rachel climbs inside of it.)

Rachel: All right, listen, missy. If you want this cart, you're gonna have to take me with it!

(She thinks it over, and then walks away.)

Rachel: (to Ross) Yes! Did you see that?

Ross: You were incredible! Brand new woman, ladies and gentlemen.

Rachel: I could not have done this without you.

(Rachel stands up and kisses Ross. He is stunned. A moment of silence follows.)

Ross: Ok, um, uh, more clothes in the dryer? (Ross turns and bangs his head on an open dryer door.) I'm fine, I'm fine.

Rachel: Are you sure?

Ross: No."

Hehehehe....What's your fav? ;)

-Synchronicity Out-

Better Man

2006-06-04T16:57:00.000+10:00

Yesterday after JJ dropped me off in the city before he left for Avalon Airport to go to Sydney, I went to meet up with Jen and her dad. That was awkward.. hehe.. They went back to iHouse to send Jen's new Keyboard so I stayed in the city since my initial plan was to go to Starbucks, have a cup of Latte and just sit there and read all day. So I did when they left. it didn't hit me until I was there that it was a Saturday and there were gonna be a lot of people. But still it didnt stop me from reading and being so sleepy at the same time. Had a few breaks in between and this is what I wrote in my "Understanding Health" study guide:

"Here I am, alone in the middle of the city. Not that it's a big thing considering that I was on my own in Melbourne most of the time last year for almost 5 months, I'm just being a baby. He's only gone for a week and he'll be back in no time. It's not like he's going back home for good. Like what he said, this is the perfect time when I can have all to myself without him coming in between my studies since my exams are going to start a few days after he comes back. I guess that's a good thing then."

I felt lonely and the thought of 'If he was here, what would he be doing' can't get out of my mind and he has only been here with me for 3 months. Like what Amran said, it would be worse if he went back for good, then I'd be in misery the whole freaking time since She and Johanna are also leaving for Sweden for good. Ok, that's not a nice thing to think about right now. It's just that I'm used to seeing him 24/7, day and night. And if I don't see him for a coupple of hours, I know that I'm gonna be in his arms soon. But this is like, No! you have to wait for another 6 days to see him! So much for saying it's not a big deal huh.. :)

"Slow jazzy songs, door slamming open and close, cooffee grinder and blender buzzing, knife and fork falling on the floor, footsteps of people passing by, chairs scratching, people of different races talking in different languages, barista wiping and cleaning the table, a girl flipping newpaper, kids screaming and laughing and the voice in my head talking."

These are the things that were surrounding me when I was sitting on the red comfy sofa with my redish-pinkis book and a pencil in my hands. ( From here onwards I can't remember what I wrote because a few seconds ago this window got hang and this is all that I can recover...) I fucking hate when that happens because it just kills the mood off. How can you remember exactly what you wrote if those things just pop up in your head in an instance and you still want it to sound the same.. Fuck!

Ok Lets not get too emotional here and I'll continue.. As I was reading and reading, I realise that I was falling asleep so here's what I wrote:

"I'm feeeling comfortable but my eyes are half open. I wish I could leave but I promised Jen that I'll go have dinner with her her dad and James. So I can't just leave like that right? I've moved 3 times in 30 minutes to get the seat that I wanted and he called. He was safe in Sydney with his family and they were going out for dinner. I was so glad to hear from him that it made me not as sleepy as before but I wanted to pee so badly though. I hope Jen is goin to arrive soon because I don't know where else to go if I leave this place.... I think the coffee is starting to kick in....."

See the difference if JJ was around. I won't have to worry about leaving a place and not knowing where to go or care about what to do while waiting for someone because we have each other to annoy hehe.. and to entertain.. It seems like I've gotten to use to him being around that I kinda lost a little bit of my independance sense. Just a little.. not so much... ;p

After dinner with Jen's dad, me Jen and James went out with Johanna, Laura and Jamie to O'Rilies (Or how ever you spell that..) a bar on Chapel Street. The band was playing a couple of songs when we got there and suddenly the cute vocalist said, "This song is for all you lovers out there and go grab your boyfriend or girlfriend and give them a big hug!!" or somewhere along those lines.. 'Better Man' By Pearl Jam. Hmmmmm.... Doesn't that reminds me of someone huh?? Yes! Duh~~~ When ever we go see live bands and they play this song, he was by myside.. He was there to hug me from behind and sing softly to my ears.. Last night, tears were struggling wanting to drop out but I fought the sadness.. Damn... I didn't think that I'd be that sad.. I didn't think that I'd be sad as much since he's only going there for a week. Obviously I'd be sad but didn't think it would affect me like this though...

Like what Amran said to me last night when I came back, it would be worse if he's going to Sydney and then going back for good. In that case I'd be living in misery for sure! And to make it worse, She and Johanna are going back to Sweden For good in a couple of weeks and I don't want to think about that right now.. I guess I'm so so use to having him around, seriously...
When I look at the lyrics of the song I mentioned above, it is actually a sad depressive love song and not the happy ones which is not really significant to my situation, even though we have our bad days obviously but still, that song just makes me wanna ... arghh... (Ya Allah... Emo Bley??? eehehehhe...)

-Synchronicity Out-

Dark Clouds are Following Winter..

2006-06-02T17:02:00.000+10:00

A room that's nearly empty, a room that was never been treated like it belonged, a room that he didn't call home.
Loud music has always been coming from the bottom floor, his housemate didn't clean his ears for a long bloody time I guess. Then again I maybe wrong.. Probably he doesn't know how loau it gets up here.

Unorganized days and weeks, my heart is pumping faster each day. Feels like these four walls are going to crush me anytime soon if I don't get started fast. The whole week is going to be empty, sleepless nights but that's gonna be fine. Sometimes somethings are better to be left unsaid? Agree? I don't know what's tru and what's not..I'm drifting apart. Somehow...

A chinese sad love song, That's what it sounds like to me. Their exams ends today, people are gonna part soon.. is that the explaination for the music? Soon it's gonna be dark... Got to move on....

-Synchronicity Out-

Night

2006-05-30T05:50:00.000+10:00

It's 6 am and I should be sleeping by now. But I was lying down beside JJ who is obviously fast asleep and I just couldn't sleep. I have a test tomorrow and I should get some rest and not make myself look like a zombie walking to uni and sitting deadly in class dreaming my brains away.

But no. Here I am typing and smoking even though it's making my throat hurts while drinking my unfinished cold tea that I made a couple of hours ago thinking of nothing but negative things. It is cold but I still leave the window open so that the somke smell doesn't get stuck in my room in the morning, which it always does but I also doesn't want the smell to go out into the the hallway. The heater is on but that doesn't do me any good. It's far away from where I'm sitting and it's better that way so that JJ doesn't get cold since it's nearer to him.

I don't care if my fingers are getting colder. I don't care if I don't sleep. I don't care if I walk like a zombie to Uni tomorrow. I'll just have a cup of coffee and I'll be awake the whole day. Isn't that easy? I can picture myself with eyebags in the morning and even makeup can't cover it up. One thing good about this country is that you don't sweat as much as you get back at home especially times like these when it's winter. Back at home if I don't sleep for just one night I'll look so horrible the next day and people would thing that I got beaten up the day before. Yes, it's that horrible. Because it's so hot and humid that you don't want to not be in an airconed places. Here everywhere you go you'd find a place that is warm, where their heater is turned on and it'e the opposite in Malaysia. Funny how things go when you think about it.

But nevertheless, I love the cold. Not that I don't complain that it's too cold sometimes, I do... But I just love it. Sometimes when I get too cold, I think of back home and how I was dying to be in a cold place. And with that thought, automatically I can bare the cold weather. Currently it's 4.4 degrees and apparently it's predicted that it's gonna be sunny but foggy during the day. In KL it's 25 degrees currently and the humidity is 83%. Haha. Predicted light rain. I love Malaysia especially KL, it's a wonderful place, it's just that you get sweaty easily there and that's not pleasing at times, well... most of the times.

Now I know for sure that I will not be goin back for the winter holiday that will last for 3 weeks. I sent Mami a long ass email telling and explaining to her bout how I feel and soon after I got a call from her but she didn't sound dissapointed at all. She sounded happy in fact. That's a good sign and that made me feel less guilty. Because for the past couple of days I've been thinking about how she feels and how badly she wanted me to come home ever since I got a short call from her and Dadi. But today, I feel peace but not quite. With the stories that she told me? No no.. But that's something any of us can't do anything about. At least I know it's under control, i think. I'm not sure myself of how the situation is but I think I can imagine it. Bottom line is, I know what and why she sounded like how she sounded the other day.

It's time for my second smoke. It still doesn't taste as good, though. Sometimes just the smell of it makes me crave for more. But times like these, ciggies are the best companion even though that don't taste as good (I do sound like a pethetic loser don't I?) And times like these is when I can imagine Amran and Johanna saying "ARe you gonna smoke AGAIN?" Hehehehe.. I can hear JJ's soft snore. It's cute but when I'm beside him and trying to sleep, it's not! hehe.. It just makes me envious because why can't I be in his position instead of where I am or what I'm doing? Ah.. it doesn't matter right now does it? This tea isn't helping either. It makes me feel the 'kelat' feeling on my tongue but a sip once in a while while I smoke makes the ciggie taste better =) Well, you loose some you win some. I'm done with my ciggie and I think I should move on and stop babbling nonsense here.

Goodnight or shall I say Goodmorning? hehe..

-Synchronicity out-

Not Again!

2006-05-26T12:09:00.001+10:00

I have never been to my Friday 10am Lecture except for this one time which I was late for half an hour and I came from the back door and made a huge comotion with the door that made everyone turn back to see who it was.
I never went back for that class..
Even though I said to myself many times on Thursday nites, "You have to go for Cognitive class tomorrow", just to see how it is, and just to give it another chance. But everytime I open my eyes the clock is already showing that I'm an hour late. So I just get up to get ready for my next class.
My next class is a third year level unit-Research Fucking Method in Psychology B, and that is the only tutorial that I have that doesn't take attendance. It's nice to be in that class but I get lost too easily. It's fun when you know your shit and everything that you key in make sense but since a couple of weeks ago when I got sick and missed the tutorial, I have been missing it until now. Talking about slacking huh..?
Right after that I have another tutorial for the 10am Lecture which we have to do experiments before we attend the class, if we don't we get thrown out of class automatically. I've missed 2 and i cant afford to miss another time. Everytime we're in class, we have to get into groups and EVERYTIME we will end up talking about crap and laughing all the freaking time. But that's fun though.. hehe..
Today's another Firday and I've missed 2 of my classes and I have to freaking do the experiment for this next class.. Good luck to me..
Next week is the last week of classes and then there's a study week before exams starts and I'm freaking out... God Dammit!! Why must the exam come so fast?!?!?! FUCK!!! FUCK !! FUCK!!!!

The Time Has Come..

2006-05-25T15:36:00.000+10:00

It Felt like it was 2 weeks ago that I just got back here,
Exams are already bugging people's mind..
3 months went by so fast..

Things hasn't been the same compared to last year..
Some are bad but of course, some are good..
I got my boyfriend here with me, which was very unexpected..
I got my life in Melbourne again.. Fantastic friends, great times, freedom and and of course plies of unwanted assignms.
Even though everything seems the same on the surface, somehow, things are pretty much different from what we had.
At the begining of the semester we thought that it would be like how it was last year,
by the end of the semester, mostly everybody was comfortable with each other and dont want to let go..
I guess, this semester it'll be different.. really different, no doubt...

When I was back in KL, I didn't really take a lot of pictures like I used to.
It was funny cause I didnt really see it but Judith (at that time came to visit me there) was the one who mentioned it to me.
I realise ever since I'm here, The flashes don't come too often...
I wonder why sometimes..
And I guess when you think about it, it's too painful too memories that you wish was still here..
We human beings just hate changes but we just have to accept the reality that we can't have everything to go our way..
And I should stop dwelling on the past and start on my next assignm now...
and study for my exams.. haha..

Friday Wedges

2005-10-15T00:59:00.000+10:00

It has been exactly 2 weeks since we got back from Sydney and I haven't started studying properly. I feel like knocking my head againts the wall and dip my feet in hot water and break my fingers into half. What else can I do? Okay, lets stop this nonsense.

I have approx 2 weeks more before my exam starts. I'm freaking out. When i tell people that i'm freakin out, they say, I know you can do it! I know i can do it too!! But with my stupid behaviour like this I Dont Think So!!! Arghhhh.... What am I doing now? Writing and uploading pictures online? Uhhhhh... Very progressive huh... ok ok .. I'll go drown myself in my books now...

-Synchronicity Out-

A Memory, Two Hearts and Three Words.

2005-10-12T04:10:00.000+10:00

On 12th August 2004, a memory I'd never forget. Two individuals began a journey. Three words were uttered, from that day on, until now.

That was long ago, but I can still feel the breeze, the wind blowing, the smell of salt water, the smile on your face and our fingers wrapped together.

A year and two months has past, we are now thousand miles apart. Leaving our memories behind, creating more in the future, anxiously wating, anticipating. In a month and a half, I'll be in your arms again, you'll be in mine.

I can't wait.. Happy Anniversary Sayang.. I Love You.

Another Sunday

2005-10-02T15:01:00.000+10:00

Sundays here don't feel like a Sunday at all. Well, at least to me. I will feel like it's Sunday during one of the weekdays, I just don't know why.

Jada made sushi for lunch and it was GOOD. Finally we got to taste her delicious home made Sushi with the soy sos she created on her own. Yum!

The weather today is very friendly and beautiful with 20.5 degrees. Our SpringBreak is ending in a few hours. It feels like I haven't been to Uni in a long time. haha..

On the second floor is my house and that's one of my housemates. She's gonna kill me if she knows that i put this picture here.. hehe..

-Synchronicity Out-

October Sky

2005-10-01T12:23:00.000+10:00

It's the first day of the month. The sky is clearing but knowing Melbourne it'll change in a few minutes. Lets just hope that it will stay like this for a while. Sunny and soft wind. I like that.

I came back from Bondi Beach, Sydney, yesterday. Went with my housemates Johanna and Amran and our future housemate, Jada and 3 guys from I-House, Alex, Kevin and Brad.

The place was so beautiful. The beach was awesome. But weather there were not really friendly to us throughout the whole week. Only the first 2 days when we arrive and also yesterday it was Sunny and beautiful.

I took 1573 pictures home. Still i was not satisfied. God knows when one can be satisfied with what they have. I didn't get to shop much because I was out of budget. Money is like water and all of us know that. I don't know where did it go. But I had my share of fun still.

Now we're back to the real world. Back to thinking about assignms and exams that are coming soon. Back to doing what we do everyday-Nothing. It was so nice when we were there because 4 of us stayed in the same room and we felt like a family.

Thinking of what to have for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Taking shower together (But Of course different cubicles). Knowing that we have each other all the time, regardless. We were never lonely.

Now that we are back at home, we're back in saperate rooms. It feels weird in a way. Lonely in a way. More time to yourself. Those 7 days in Sydney was worth it. We had our ups and downs but we still made it through together and stick to one another.

Now it's a new month. Fasting month is a few days away. I'm looking foward to it. Because that will make me save more money both on food and also social life. As it is, I have been quite anti-social since I got here. So no surprise..

To my friends back home, I miss you guys. Cant wait for November. Happy 1st day of October. The best Month of the year..

It has been a Long time..

2005-06-27T08:46:00.000+10:00

I haven't been posting anything here...
hehe

Thoughts of Love...

2005-01-23T20:55:00.000+11:00

When you love someone, you tend to question yourself, "Why do I love this person so much?" Don't you? I don't know if you do.. But when we think about it, we actually know the answer why, But the question sometimes just pop up out of no where after all..

How do you know whether you are so deeply in love with that person or it's just lust?
How do you know when you say those 3 magic words 'I Love You' and mean it?!
How do you know that that person will be there for you when you are in need of help?
How do you blind yourselves from all the small things that sooner can be the most annoying thing you have ever come across?
How do you prove your love to him/her with out a doubt?
How do you know that your relationship is going to last until the day both of you are going to exchange rings?
How do you know that your parents will like him forever?
How do you maintain a long distance relationship or a forbidden relationship?
How do you deal with all that?

Well, as you can see, these are all random questions that sometimes pop up from your head.
Do you ignore it and just continue with life or you stop to think about it and take action or you keep on thinkin about it but not doing anything to find your answers to those questions?

Love, is very powerful. Love is unconditional. People define love in many ways in fact in different ways. In dictionaries even, you can find so many definitions of 'LOVE'.
Every couple has their own history, dramas and dreams..
They may look very happy, but you never know what's going on behind the scene..

It's funny how people look at other people and say, "Oh my... They look so sweet together..." or "They are the cutest couple ever!"
You see an old couple walkin hand in hand by the beach during sunset, you say that's sweet..
You see crippled couple getting married in the hospital where they met, you say that's sweet..
Another young couple sharing banana split while gazing into each other's eye, you say that's sweet..
In a movie, a guy sacrifies everything he has for the girl he loves, you say that's sweet..
Romeo and Juliet, *my all time favorite* they would die to be with each other, OMG that is sweet..
Brad and Jen or David and Vicky... They are sweet to me..and the rest of the world!

Well, most plans don't turn out to be like we hope them to be..
Some ethnic groups/culture think that old people should just stay at home, sleep in separate rooms, do their own things and not being intimate with their spouses anymore..
Some people think that when you are not normal, you should not get married because that will burden the people around them because they will need double the help they need before they get married..
Some think that being in love is just an illusion, they think it's pethatic..
Some think it's crazy and lame to be corney..
Killing yourself doesn't do any good, killing yourself is plain dumb and ruining your own future..
A lot of marriges are not meant to be and many have internal problems like any other layman's household..

We cannot control what is going on but we can avoid if we are aware of it.. It takes two to play the game, communications work in both ways, giving and recieving.. It's irreversable..
It's hard to make the relationship work if both parties doesn't want to help one another to spot the problem..
Every action is a reaction.. What ever happens is the effect from another effect.. It's like the egg and chiken, which came first?
Therefore think carefully before you act, because it is the reaction from another action.

Problems, dramas and crisis are few of the most important things in a relationship and also unavoidable. The happiness we have are good for our body but the sorrows we go through strenghten our spirits. As we come across a problem in a relationship, we learn new things about the person, and also both or either one can change to make it better. The fights that we have makes us stronger in a relationship, don't you think? You are required to think rationally, but can you? Will you? or have you?

But definitely, all of us know that the sun will always shine after the rainy thundery stormy day!!!! So have faith in all you do, in those you trust and path you choose... You can surely make it through the rain... Keep on loving those who loves you.. you will never miss your water till your well runs dry... =)

Coming back to the first question..... "Why do I love this person so much?" The small voice whispers to me again..
I just smiled to myself and continued doing what I was doing.....

Goodnyte!!!!!!!!!!!

Maybe Just Maybe..

2005-01-15T21:07:00.000+11:00

Maybe I was too emotional, maybe I was over reacting, maybe there's a reason why.
in the previous post, my anger was all over me, couldn't help it. Who won't? Get scolding because of something you didn't do. And it's not the normal scolding, it's emotional abuse.

Goodnight..

How is it gonna be?

2005-01-12T18:44:00.000+11:00

I don't understand. What have I done to deserve this? Why are they doing this to me? Why do they put me through hell. Can't they see I have a life??!? What do they expect me to do? Sit at home and rot?? Do nothing, waste time and be like 'her'?? I don't think so! No friends, no interest in anything, all day long talk about other people. Preach about how pityful you are to those unfortunate people. You are the most nicest person on earth, you try to be concern but instead you use all that againts that person. What is all this? I don't even know you!

All the things i've done, all the things I've said, doesn't mean anything to you. You said you want evertone to be happy. You are not making me happy. You think what's best for me, but in reality, you don't even know what you're doing! Me abuse me emotionally. Why? Just because you have been through hell, why put me in the situation? You said that you don't want to treat me like how you were treated, what you don't realize is that you are doing the same thing!

Why am I in this world in the first place? God knows.. I'm sick and tired of being fed up! Everything bad happened, it's all because of me. I always blame myself for EVERYTHING. I'm sick of that. Out of all the people in this world, I am the one who loves you the most, care for you and actually gives a SHIT about what you have been through, what you are going through, and what you are going to go through. But do you think like that about me? Maybe you do, but only in your point of view.

I'm a big girl now, I'm not that small little kid how goes around where ever you go. Beg you to be there with me all the time. I've grown, I am a young lady. Yes I still need you, but come on! Give me a little bit of space where I can breath. What am I? your pet? Maybe not to you, but you are treating me like one. You will never know my thoughts because you never let me speak my own mind. But when I do, you said I'm disrespecting you. I have to bow all the time. We are not living in the 20s. We have evolved into the new generation. Why are you still stuck there?

I tried to be the best you wnat me to be. And what you are doing now is asking me to lie to you all the time. You don't want to see the truth. All you wnat to see is what you think you want, which is fantasy. You said you understand, but you spoke the truth about yourself, you can never understand. That, makes me confuse about myself. You are making me confuse, about everything. I just want to life this life, this one life I have but you are ristricting me from every single damn thing in life that you, me or anyone could ever have.

I don't know any more...

Akira Dearest..

2004-12-24T18:44:00.000+11:00

Along the way, some thing that visited me some time ago blinded me. It kept on haunting me; never wanted to leave me alone. I walk pass you, I didn't stop. Your sorrow eyes, they cry for freedom, seeking for attention. Locked up just because of one person's obsession. You went away, carried the pain with you. Don't know how much guilt, hanging inside of me. God please forgive me for the second time. I couldn't bare looking at that same pair of eyes. I'm happy that you are gone, but I wished you could have stayed longer....

The night was cold,
but I kept my arms unfold,
You were lying there helplessly,
eyes wide open staring at me,

Silence took over my fears,
came abruptly but only to disappear,
I sat there not knowing what to do,
don’t understand why this is happening to you,

Moments went by so fast,
wondering if this will be the last,
Tears rolling down my cheeks,
my inner strength, I had to seek,

Touched your head, you didn’t react,
this is not a dream, while in fact it was a fact,
Your legs, your ears, your tummy,
was getting cold, it started to scare me,

Thru your eyes I saw the pain,
you were so strong, what kept you sane?
Wish I had the power to throw,
all of your sufferings by a single blow,

As the night passes on,
I know there's not much time to bond,
My heart started breaking and it was aching,
as I see your legs stretching,

Couldn’t believe what was happening,
I shouted for my mom and she started crying,
I sat on the stairs mimicking a stone,
couldn’t accept that you were… gone.

-26o7o3-