It's just emotions

10am: Started of the day feeling energetic! Full of wisdom (chewah...)! Happiness and Joy...

6.30pm: Lethargic, lazy, helpless, just didnt feel like doing anything at all! Or see anyone.

I hate when that happens.. Although you know that it is possible to set your mind straight and keep the energy going. But some how, I tend to just succumb to the negative-ness of the moment.

Some people are able to pick up their masks and not suffocate behind it for many hours. I can't even last for 2 seconds. The negativity in me shows the minute someone looks at my sour face. It's like, there's a sign on my neck saying "Don't fuckng talk to me right now!" But somehow, I think I always forget to hang that sign on my neck, or maybe the writing is too small that people might not able to read it. Pfftt... I can't hide my feelings.. It's a bad habit that I have... Succumb to the negativity.

When I was a little girl, when ever I want smething from the toy section, I would never utter a word to my mom or my dad. Instead, I would stare at it and not more from 'that' spot. They would ask me a few times, giving the chance to say "YES!", but I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't open my mouth, blink one eye, smile or frown.. Nothing! Just stood there staring. Mom would just drag me by the hand and I would make myself heavy.. Dragging my whole body.. And sometimes, after that incident, when ever they walk (especially in a mall, window shopping) I would keep a constant distance. Hahaha... When they walk I walk, when they stop, I stop. HAHAHHAHA... what a retard.

These emotions in me are horrible! Thank God I'm not like that anymore! Can you imagine? hmm... ok.. Probably 2%.. hehe..