How is it gonna be?

I don't understand. What have I done to deserve this? Why are they doing this to me? Why do they put me through hell. Can't they see I have a life??!? What do they expect me to do? Sit at home and rot?? Do nothing, waste time and be like 'her'?? I don't think so! No friends, no interest in anything, all day long talk about other people. Preach about how pityful you are to those unfortunate people. You are the most nicest person on earth, you try to be concern but instead you use all that againts that person. What is all this? I don't even know you!

All the things i've done, all the things I've said, doesn't mean anything to you. You said you want evertone to be happy. You are not making me happy. You think what's best for me, but in reality, you don't even know what you're doing! Me abuse me emotionally. Why? Just because you have been through hell, why put me in the situation? You said that you don't want to treat me like how you were treated, what you don't realize is that you are doing the same thing!

Why am I in this world in the first place? God knows.. I'm sick and tired of being fed up! Everything bad happened, it's all because of me. I always blame myself for EVERYTHING. I'm sick of that. Out of all the people in this world, I am the one who loves you the most, care for you and actually gives a SHIT about what you have been through, what you are going through, and what you are going to go through. But do you think like that about me? Maybe you do, but only in your point of view.

I'm a big girl now, I'm not that small little kid how goes around where ever you go. Beg you to be there with me all the time. I've grown, I am a young lady. Yes I still need you, but come on! Give me a little bit of space where I can breath. What am I? your pet? Maybe not to you, but you are treating me like one. You will never know my thoughts because you never let me speak my own mind. But when I do, you said I'm disrespecting you. I have to bow all the time. We are not living in the 20s. We have evolved into the new generation. Why are you still stuck there?

I tried to be the best you wnat me to be. And what you are doing now is asking me to lie to you all the time. You don't want to see the truth. All you wnat to see is what you think you want, which is fantasy. You said you understand, but you spoke the truth about yourself, you can never understand. That, makes me confuse about myself. You are making me confuse, about everything. I just want to life this life, this one life I have but you are ristricting me from every single damn thing in life that you, me or anyone could ever have.

I don't know any more...